Some personal rambling and stuff
I dislike it when people tell me I'm not a failure, because I am.
Here are that stats.
SCHOOL
Since graduating high school I've taken 10 entrance exams. TEN And I've passed: 1. ONE. Record in one subject: 4. The one I actually truly study for(still not enough I guess), the one I go on hiatus for. The one I fail EVERY time.
Last school year the number of courses I completed: 2. TWO. The number of coursed I quit: 8. And since two were quite large courses, one of which was my thesis, it's even worse.
LIFE
I'm 24 years old and I live with my grandmother. My parents sometimes give me money (and pay for stuff, like my food). I don't ask for it... and cry guilty tears every time.a lot of the savings I had I spent on "rubbish"
PEOPLE
I don't know when I've seen my friends last. I don't know if I have them anymore. I've never been in a relationship. Never will. I hate myself too much to even try. I'm scared of getting close to people. Physically and mentally. Especially physically.
SPORTS
I quit something I loved and hated 5 years ago. I tried to get into something new last year(since my mental state was awful as soon as uni started when I didn't do any physical stuff), I sucked at it and got injured. Repeatedly.
STUFF THAT I CAN'T HELP AND THAT PROVE THAT LIFE SUCKS
Being a failure doesn't mean I'll never stop being one.
I managed to go to the uni hand in the form I had to fill out, so I could be allowed to study at uni again. I know I "quit" some time ago. Didn't last long. (Failing the entrance exam for the 4th straight time might have something to do with it) I sort of feel like I've been given another chance. I'm a person who always frets about the future. It looks really black at the moment and I don't see anything there for me. But what I really should TRY to do is concentrate on the NOW. I can't know for certain about the future and thinking that it sucks doesn't help it or the present.
Soon it's time to register for courses. I want to clean my room and I have a psychology test I haven't started studying for yet, although I've had the books almost 2 months. (In my defence: the books are horrible and I feel sick when I read about brains and eyes and UGH)
Okay. That's the old failure!me. The current one. It WILL be the old one. Hopefully.
On to FOOTBALL. :)
On the negative: Germany's U21 national team failed to qualify for the European Championship next year after losing 4-1 to Iceland. 4-1, to Iceland. Such a freaking pity. That age group on paper is prob. clearly THE strongest in Europe, but of course a great deal of the best weren't present, since there was the friendly, and the clubs (especially since the season will start soon and there was the World Cup, clubs haven't been to eager to spare their kids), but... STILL. It's not like the other players should have sucked. I was so looking forward to seeing the German kids kick ass next year. What with some having kicked ass already this year in the World Cup... Oh, the missed opportunity!
Yay for Finland drawing with Spain. Not that it matters. Our kids are not qualifying either. But at least they haven't been thrashed in a qualifier. Anyway, there's one competition I won't be following next year.
Friendlies: I'm annoyed that Kroos and Marin couldn't be spared for the more important qualifier. Glad Helmes scored. Glad Finland beat Belgium in their friendly. :)
Club friendlies: Bayern vs. Real! :D We'll see how good or bad this will be. At the moment I'm looking forward to it. :) There aren't any high stakes, but if it goes too badly, I doubt it will have a very positive effects... Although I hope too hasty conclusions won't be drawn out of the outcome. :) Anyway, it will be nice to see how Bayern does against a club like Real. :) I wish this was on TV, so my brother could watch it. He just told me that he won't care enough and will just check later by how much Real beat Bayern. XD
EPL: starts tomorrow! :) Come on, Spurs. :)
Oh yeah, I also finally watched the 3rd Goal! film. :) I had been putting it off after hearing that it was crap. It wasn't awful, but nothing spectacular. Storywise not much worse than the 2nd film. The first one was of course lovely. :)
I tried some flag football on Monday. It was fun. Could be scary. I decided to buy two ankle braces(or ordered them) that will hopefully prevent injury and help with my chronic ankle pain. I wanted to buy knee braces as well. But I had spent so much already(proper ankle braces are EXPENSIVE)... Maybe later on. With my luck, I'll end up injuring my knees as well.. :(
I know I need new soles.. and new running shoes. My Mum has been going on about them for quite a while... but I think about the money...
An entry in which I angst more about myself(it's still the abridged version though) than talk about football.
Oh, and I'll finish that anime meme. :) And I should one day finish posting the stuff about the interrail trip I went on last year. XDD This time last year I was in Paris. Cool. :)