I confuse even myself....

[_keg_]

Well, lots of shit has been happening. Well lately I have been flirting with this guy Adam. Stupid for my part. And well i guess i somewhat sorta kinda maybe just a little bit, like him. And well i'm still with Tony. So i guess it is wrong how much I flirt with Adam. And I need to stop. But that will be easy cuz Adam has a g/f friend now. I just liked the attention. And like all last week I thought about breaking it off with Tony cuz it is just so freakin hard! I hate it at points and times. But I know that i will never find a guy that treats me like Tony does. And I nkwo Tony will be there for me through thick and thin. And that is what i want in a guy. And i don't think any of the guys down here would be like that. And well it all seems so weird. Lately tony has been sending me e-mails telling me that he will always be here for me and that he loves me. And i feel special getting those e-mails and all. But to me it just seems that he knows something. And well Britt might have told him. But I'm not sure. But at the game on friday i was hanging with Adam. I saw him in the parking lot. And well he parked next to me. And then my cell rang. It was Kaley, she asked when i was coming to pick her up. And i was like, "oh shit!" And i asked my mom if i could use the car. Then i asked if Adam would come with me. Then he said we should just take his car. And his car is freakin awesome! So of course i said yes. So then we got in and started driving. And we somehow got into a convo about my boobs. I really don't remember how that happened. Wait..yes i do. He said he had plans that night. I asked him what they were. And he said it was to talk to this girl Mindy. And he was saying how her boobs were bigger than mine. And he kinda touched my boob. And i knew it wasn't right but we were still on that topic. Then i laughed and said that the bra i was wearing was the one that got whipped cream all over it. Then he pulled down the front of my shirt and was like, yeah it is. And i called him a pervert and told him not to do that. Well then he said, no i could do worse. I could do this. Then he pulled down my bra and shirt. And i smacked his hand. Fixed my shirt and punched him in the arm. I should have done worse. But then we got to Kaley's house. We picked her up and on the way back Adam said something about seeing my boob. And well then i had to explain that to Kaley. And i told her not to tell anyone. And i hope she listens. But i was freaked out that Tony would find out and we might break up. But I ended up telling him yesterday. I could tell he was kinda mad. But he still was ok with it at the same time. But Brizz is definately on me about how much i flirt with guys. She likes Tony a lot and doesn't want me hurting him. Or at lease I think that is the reason. I'm not completely sure. But i haven't told Brizz about what Adam did. But i think she will get mad. But like i am kinda mad at myself. I mean i got myself into a bad situation.
Oh and me and Tony were talking a while ago. And well I told him that i was invited to drink. And i said no, and it got said that Tony doesn't do that. And well Tony told me that he doesn't like the fact that i drink, but he doesn't want to be controlling. And like i understand that. But he was talkin to Hess and they came up with a kinda compromise. Tony says he is ok with me drinking but doesn't want me to do anything stupid while drinking. And so he said he thinks i should stop drinking when i start to feel buzzed. And well in some part i agree with that, but in others i don't. Like i guess it is bad, but i mainly drink for the feeling. But yeah....so i would drink to get drunk. That sounds so bad....
But i think I'm gonna go now...