2 bucks says you won't read this.

[_keepwalking]

maybe it was the reading of lor-in's journal that is making me want to update mine all of a sudden. i always update when there's extremes--"oh my god im so happy" or "haha well, looks like i've been discarded by another asshole." so right now, i'm going to try to update just to. something that isn't any extremes but just because. tonight we went to visit my grandfather, well my dad goes every night but it was my first time in a little while. i love pep. hes soooo young but hes just so lost and confined to a chair now. it came time for him to take a shower and he started swearing in french and then broke down into tears. i had this awful feeling in my stomach because all i wanted to do was the same thing he was. it's so sad. one day he's in my garage fixing everything and the next, the right side of his body doesnt work. he's still strong and still alive so that makes it lighter i guess. dear dad, i know i say cruel things but i dont mean it. i love you. all i have been listening to is the academy is. that show was on tuesday night and it was one of the best shows i've been to in a while i think. it was the perfect night to forget all the gay shit im surrounded with, specially since jen and jeff were there. i think im in love with mr. beeecckkeeettt. kill me. every quarter we have to go to these meetings with brother nelson and mine was today. and it was actually a good one. normally he just scolds you in a mono tone. today he told me i was a good person and had a good character to not just my age, but all people. and that made me feel good because every once in a while, you need to hear things about yourself that you would never expect from people. does anyone want to really hangout with me during february vacation? as i mentioned before, i'm trying to get past some shit and anything to keep my mind elsewhere is a big help. i wish people had more respect for eachother. and i wish trailer park boy and the ugly thing he is dating would leave my mind. the other night, i wrote letters to all my friends. my most cherished and closest friends. i dont know why, and i don't know if they will ever get them but the are pretty long and kinda deep so i hope i have the guts to hand them to my friends sometime. school is almost over and don't disagree because the next blink of an eye we're going to be at eachothers' graduation parties and i'll be packing away all my shit for a new life in florida. or so i dream. i'm exhausted.

ps. story. ps.
so when my grandfather was still in the hospital, there was a man in the bed next to him, and that man could talk your ear off and had the personality anyone could remember. he was in pearl harbor and got tattoos at every place he had ever been too. you would have never been able to tell that he was that old. when we met, he said he didn't know if he was going to be around for christmas, and he wife yelled at him for it. then they both laughed. he died right before christmas got around.

r.i.p mr. ducharme. i didn't know you, but for the hour i did, i thought you were awesome.