(no subject)
I feel like lately I'm hanging around people that couldn't give a shit if I was around them or not. I don't want to be the center of attention, thats not what I'm asking for. But it would be nice if someone cared you were there or not. Yesterday was probably the worst day in a while, and the fact that the way I'm feeling about people lately isn't helping much either. I feel like a whole bunch of people are two faced assholes and a few others are just pricks in my mind. I could say a few names, but how would that help? It wouldn't at all. And the one person I actually find that is genuine and I feel 100% comfortable around is not here. In response to what you left Mark, I never said you weren't a nice guy. Totally the opposite and you know it.
I'm biting my tongue so much right now and can't figure out how to put my thoughts into words. This could be an entry with me rambling on how I'm lonely and how much it bothers me, but it doesn't really all that much anymore. I just miss someone so terribly that I make myself pretend that I don't care and I tell my friends that I don't care but I do. I've as trust issues with so many people and I find somebody who I feel like I can trust but... it doesn't matter. I'm rambling, I know. I'll soon realize that every thought thats been going through my mind is a waste of my time. Much like the whole Rigney situtation. It took me a while to see that caring and feeling any sort of emotion towards that situation was sucking away my time. Eventually, I just kind of felt numb about it and forgot about it.
I should just stop feeling altogether right? Right.
I'm biting my tongue so much right now and can't figure out how to put my thoughts into words. This could be an entry with me rambling on how I'm lonely and how much it bothers me, but it doesn't really all that much anymore. I just miss someone so terribly that I make myself pretend that I don't care and I tell my friends that I don't care but I do. I've as trust issues with so many people and I find somebody who I feel like I can trust but... it doesn't matter. I'm rambling, I know. I'll soon realize that every thought thats been going through my mind is a waste of my time. Much like the whole Rigney situtation. It took me a while to see that caring and feeling any sort of emotion towards that situation was sucking away my time. Eventually, I just kind of felt numb about it and forgot about it.
I should just stop feeling altogether right? Right.