(no subject)
A few entries back, if your emember, I wrote about a little girl in a spring dress on a gray day. [You may want to look back a few entries to better understand this one] Today, sometime after a scolding 2 o clock, the day turned the same blank shade of greay, and I happened to see the little girl again when I was at a playground in Bolingbrook. She was playing alone on the playground with just one other boy wearing a plain white tee shirt and blue jeans, with an indertiminable hair color somewhere between light brown and dark blond. Maybe it was convenient that he was so non-descript because it made me make the immediate connection and place myself in his shoes. He was chasing the girl, this time in a dress black with white polka dots, instead of white with black, the same shock of light blond hair standing out against the bland day. The boy obviously liked the girl, in the sort of way that everyone with eyes can see, where the connection of emotion between them was so tangible i felt that if i walked in between them i would feel it break like spider webs across my face and restitch behind me. His face was full of mischief and adoration, akin to the way he followed her like the puppy his eyes resembled. As he benevolently teased her and her him, she laughed genuinely and confidently.
How many times have i been that little boy, from kindergarten until recently? One of the most perfect examples of contentment is to live completely in a moment, to let it sway and pull you in whatever direction is chooses, and to be with and around someone you feel safe enough to be pulled and swayed with absolutely without fear or embarassment of how they will perceive it. You're luck to meet even one of those people in your life.
If i beleived in Angels, i think that little girl would be my angel. Everytime is ee her calm washes over me with a feeling like water rushing backwards and uphill, and i gain a new perspective by witnessing something truly beautiful-even if just for a moment.
It's such a releif, because most people in this world are disgusting, gross, unkempt in their consideration for other people. I wouldn't say this girl is pristine (in opposition to the filth of 'most people') because she seems way too old of a soul for her age. Her wisdom that i guess only i sense is accquired, not virginal. She's less of something untouched by evil, and more like something dirtied by mistakes that we all make growing up, circumstance or surrounding, but able to brush and clean herself off to be innocently beautiful, if that only means being swept up in a moment.
We shuld all be able to brush that filth off more easily. (We seem to wear that ugliness like years-in layers like coats.) I guess her abilility to seem to do that is what makes her so unique and poignant to me.
Maybe i just read into something no one else would see, but it moved me, if not anyone else.
Sincerely,
Justin
just a side note i couldnt' find a place to fit in
To see those two kids like that was really something. I think maybe part of what we can learn from that level of innocence is that those kids understand more than most every other person, because i beleive on some subconcious level they must understand they don't know much, that most of everything lies before them and not behind. That right there gives them an infinite amount of wisdom on everything, because they've accepted and learned something frmo everything their minds haven't touched yet. I definitely think this knowledge can be borne from maturity just as well as from naivety. When we accept everything we don't know, we know atleast one thing about everything.