FIC: Mixed Messages
So hey guys, I'm new to lj (migrating from ff.net doncha know) and I'm just reposting some fics that I had up there.
Title: Mixed Messages
Rating: G
Summary: Poor Shinji. Kaworu has him all tied up in knots.
Warnings: angst aplenty.
It’s too hard. Too hard being angry, too hard being frustrated, making friends, falling in love. It’s easier not to do anything, just stand on the sidelines and go along with what they tell me. I’d rather not think about anything complicated like that anymore.
If I don’t have dreams, I can’t be sad when they’re crushed. If I’m not close to people, I won’t be feel anything when they die. If I don’t have friends, I won’t be sad losing them.
I wish I’d never met you. If I didn’t then I wouldn’t have known what love is. I wouldn’t be confused like I am right now. My heart wouldn’t ache like it does right now. I can’t stop crying now, but that’s okay I think, it hurts less when I do.
I don’t want to love, I don’t want it, not at all. I’m scared, scared, it’s dark and cold, but it’ll be all right, I’m used to being alone, but I don’t understand what you’re saying anymore. I don’t understand anything. I don’t want to remember this, think about this, be reminded of this. I hate you I hate you I hate you for doing this to me.
Ikari-kun. I like you. I love you, Shinji.
Liar. Liarliarliarliar. I don’t want to listen anymore. It hurts it hurts and I’m scared, it’s dark. I don’t love you. I don’t I don’t I don’t I don’t. I won’t love you. Never. nevernevernevernevernever.
I hate you. I hate you so much I could die.
Help me, Kaworu.
Title: Mixed Messages
Rating: G
Summary: Poor Shinji. Kaworu has him all tied up in knots.
Warnings: angst aplenty.
It’s too hard. Too hard being angry, too hard being frustrated, making friends, falling in love. It’s easier not to do anything, just stand on the sidelines and go along with what they tell me. I’d rather not think about anything complicated like that anymore.
If I don’t have dreams, I can’t be sad when they’re crushed. If I’m not close to people, I won’t be feel anything when they die. If I don’t have friends, I won’t be sad losing them.
I wish I’d never met you. If I didn’t then I wouldn’t have known what love is. I wouldn’t be confused like I am right now. My heart wouldn’t ache like it does right now. I can’t stop crying now, but that’s okay I think, it hurts less when I do.
I don’t want to love, I don’t want it, not at all. I’m scared, scared, it’s dark and cold, but it’ll be all right, I’m used to being alone, but I don’t understand what you’re saying anymore. I don’t understand anything. I don’t want to remember this, think about this, be reminded of this. I hate you I hate you I hate you for doing this to me.
Ikari-kun. I like you. I love you, Shinji.
Liar. Liarliarliarliar. I don’t want to listen anymore. It hurts it hurts and I’m scared, it’s dark. I don’t love you. I don’t I don’t I don’t I don’t. I won’t love you. Never. nevernevernevernevernever.
I hate you. I hate you so much I could die.
Help me, Kaworu.