(Untitled)

[_katecaleal_]

I dont know if I will be able to get through the rest of this year without being high the entire time. It's not that I am addicted to anything at all, I just find it so much more interesting or maybe it's just that time goes by faster. I like waking up and wanting to do something, and right now, I wake up and want to get stoned... I really want

Comments

[tokyoroseraa]

There's a lot I'd like to say in response to what you've written, but I will only say a little bit and perhaps save the rest for a later time.

I don't think things are neccessarily more interesting when you're stoned. Sure, they're more amusing. But life should be able to be interesting without your mind being altered. I know I told you the other day that I understood where you're coming from, but now I'm not so sure I do.

Maybe I'm interpreting this incorrectly, but I feel as if you are not experiencing life as it was meant to be: Pure.

Sure, some people feel as though getting stoned leads to revelations which in turn bring forth truth, etc. But I must say I disagree. Revalations had without getting stoned are more impacting.

If life can't be interesting for you without your bud then I think maybe something's awry. I mean, whatever works for you, but I wish you wouldn't do it so frequently. I know it is who you are and I am more than accepting of that, but at the same time I wish you weren't as consumed by it as you, perhaps, are.

You can be a writer or a painter without having to be a drug addict or a bum. Life can be interesting, nay, glorious even if you're not any of those things. My life is quite fascinating. Unexpected things occur often. I know you've had more experience than me with life, but the novice flower can aid the elder in blooming.

Even though I don't know you too well, I feel as if I've learned quite a bit from you. I respect you. You were one of the few people who made me want to be more informed, and inform others. Because of that it seems upsetting to me that you'd say you simply don't want to care about anything. I suppose I'll never be able to view things from your perspective, but I can certainly give you mine.

If there was no one else alive in the world except for me, I would attempt to be alive. If there was no one excpet for me, I would cherish this world more than ever. I would not fall into misery and desolation, I would savour the beauty that exists, even if I had no one else to share it with besides myself. Because, while it is always important to have others, it is more important to have yourself and to be more than content with having yourself.

I don't even know what my point was anymore, but I'm still writing. It's much like life in that way. But I feel like I can't express what I want to say through writing and if that's the case I'm sure I can't express it through words either.

So maybe you can make something of my rambling. If not, then change is coming soon. You'll be off to college.

PS: That lyric has been in my head since whenever you told it to me.
"And I want life in every word, to the extent that it's absurd."
Seemed a bit relevant here.