"Love me when I least deserve it because that's when I really need it."
Read that again.
So, I had a really bad dream last night. In it, I awoke (still in school) and Robin found a dead body outside her room. So skip to that night after school. I found this out, and figured, "So if whoever killed him got in here last night, they must be able to come back in tonight." Right, of course. So I never wanted to be alone. But in my dream, whenever I asked someone to stay downstairs with me (like when I was doing homework), they wouldn't. So I was running around following them so I wouldn't be alone. Then skip to right before I'd go to sleep. I was talking to my mom, and I was like, "give me a hug because I'm not going to live to see morning because I'd be the first in the line of fire" (I sleep downstairs). And she was just like, "yeah." And I asked her if she would sleep downstairs and she said no and if i could sleep in her room and again she said no. Then I woke up.
So yeah, I woke up this morning at 7:30 after only like 4 hours of sleep, in a tizy and extrememly nautious. And I couldn't move from my bed for over a half hour.
So my first thoughts were, "I gotta stop watching Phantom right before I go to sleep," which is probably true. But I always feel like my nightmares mean something, and usually they do (like the one about my dad in the PAC chasing me). So I realized, I feel like that if some kind of emergency were to happen, I don't always know if there would be anyone there to be with me. Ok, maybe that's an exhaduration (sp?), but regardless, right now I feel like there's no one here to comfort me when I'm scared, and no one to be with me when I'm sad. I feel kinda abandoned, like I did in my dream, and really helpless and victimized I guess.
So, I had a really bad dream last night. In it, I awoke (still in school) and Robin found a dead body outside her room. So skip to that night after school. I found this out, and figured, "So if whoever killed him got in here last night, they must be able to come back in tonight." Right, of course. So I never wanted to be alone. But in my dream, whenever I asked someone to stay downstairs with me (like when I was doing homework), they wouldn't. So I was running around following them so I wouldn't be alone. Then skip to right before I'd go to sleep. I was talking to my mom, and I was like, "give me a hug because I'm not going to live to see morning because I'd be the first in the line of fire" (I sleep downstairs). And she was just like, "yeah." And I asked her if she would sleep downstairs and she said no and if i could sleep in her room and again she said no. Then I woke up.
So yeah, I woke up this morning at 7:30 after only like 4 hours of sleep, in a tizy and extrememly nautious. And I couldn't move from my bed for over a half hour.
So my first thoughts were, "I gotta stop watching Phantom right before I go to sleep," which is probably true. But I always feel like my nightmares mean something, and usually they do (like the one about my dad in the PAC chasing me). So I realized, I feel like that if some kind of emergency were to happen, I don't always know if there would be anyone there to be with me. Ok, maybe that's an exhaduration (sp?), but regardless, right now I feel like there's no one here to comfort me when I'm scared, and no one to be with me when I'm sad. I feel kinda abandoned, like I did in my dream, and really helpless and victimized I guess.