(Untitled)
I can't stand my life anymore. Granted that's not one of those "I can't stand my life and I want to go commit suicide" comments, but I guess sometimes I get really frustrated that I feel like I can't change things. I feel so frustrated and I feel like such a failure in so many ways. I especially feel like I've failed my mom. When I talked to
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Now, you know back all those years ago my dad actually said I didn't need to go to college too (I bet he and your dad would find lots in common to talk about) but I went anyway. It was the first time I ever rebelled and did not do exactly what he said. You have to too. Don't worry about who will pay for it...get student loans...work two jobs...whatever it takes....it took me seven years but I finally finished all on my own and I'm the only one in my family that went to college. You have to do this for yourself. The rest of your life will be influenced by the decisions you make now. It won't be easy but you will not regret it if you finish your education.
Your mom is right, they will probably still find things to fight about even with you gone....lord knows my family still does but with enough distance it doesn't hurt you quite as much. You will probably still get the phone calls that make you cry or hear about things that have gone on....but you need to start building your own independent future. I'd like to think someday she'll find the strength to move on to a better situation but that's not a sure thing at all.
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