(no subject)
never have i done anything so emotinally difficult. that's a lie .. because i still have jason . i lost the other him . so did everybody else . but i can't stand to just sit and watch as everything starts falling apart.. so i made a change. but why the fuck is it so difficult to stay to that change .. to understand like i did before i tried to fix anything with my "know-it-all" brains. i push everyone away . it's my talent . dad, i pushed him away . alex, i pushed her away . and now i'm pushing jason away . this is stupid . go and die .