(no subject)
this town brings me down.
i can't stress enough how depressing this area makes me feel. the people, the jobs, the fact that there's no future here for anyone. it's a dead end town and it drives me nuts. i long for the day where i can go to different cafes or different bars and see different people. different things.
working in factories is driving me to a whole other low in life. working with crack addicts and 15 yr old moms doesn't cut it for me. i feel so useless and worthless at points. i wouldn't mind working in a factory if i were somewhere else. if i were in a city, living on my own with chris, with our cats and living in a somewhat decent apartment, i'd be happy. but working in a factory here is working in a gross environment, living at home and not really having anything creative to do. i really have no time anymore for the things i enjoy which is sad on another level.
working at ferrero was okay. it really was. but now that i'm on "standby" or whatever that means i'm at this other factory that just sucks balls. my back is aching, my wrists are throbbing and feel swollen, i just can't do this anymore. i don't care if i have to go back to retail for min. wage. i fucking don't want to do this temp/factory work anymore.
i'd be ten times happier if i were living in a wooden hut in the forest running through the grass, listening to music and taking pictures of sunsets. least i'd be positive and be enjoying life.
i just hope life gets a little more exciting. cause i'm in a rut and i hate it.
spring is almost here... i hope that changes my mood a little.
i can't stress enough how depressing this area makes me feel. the people, the jobs, the fact that there's no future here for anyone. it's a dead end town and it drives me nuts. i long for the day where i can go to different cafes or different bars and see different people. different things.
working in factories is driving me to a whole other low in life. working with crack addicts and 15 yr old moms doesn't cut it for me. i feel so useless and worthless at points. i wouldn't mind working in a factory if i were somewhere else. if i were in a city, living on my own with chris, with our cats and living in a somewhat decent apartment, i'd be happy. but working in a factory here is working in a gross environment, living at home and not really having anything creative to do. i really have no time anymore for the things i enjoy which is sad on another level.
working at ferrero was okay. it really was. but now that i'm on "standby" or whatever that means i'm at this other factory that just sucks balls. my back is aching, my wrists are throbbing and feel swollen, i just can't do this anymore. i don't care if i have to go back to retail for min. wage. i fucking don't want to do this temp/factory work anymore.
i'd be ten times happier if i were living in a wooden hut in the forest running through the grass, listening to music and taking pictures of sunsets. least i'd be positive and be enjoying life.
i just hope life gets a little more exciting. cause i'm in a rut and i hate it.
spring is almost here... i hope that changes my mood a little.