Two Years of...
I've been talking to Ben for about the past half an hour. He has been explaining his quandary as it relates to love and Hayden. He explained to me what he did for Hayden a few nights ago, and what the two of them shared together. They had been broken up for a while now; Hayden's since been involved with another guy. But the two of them seem to have such a deep connection built on such firm and solid ground. Ben is a very good person, I think. He told me that the trick is not maturity, it's patience and that is something I've thought a lot about lately. He is a person I respect, and wish the best of luck too because he honestly deserves a lot of happiness.
In other news, I've began the catching up process for school. I have met with each of my teachers individually, and they've all been very accomodating. They are each helping me with different approaches, some more than others. I hope I can fully get back on track, and dive back into a lot of the material they are covering ... for now, I sit on the side and sort of try and piece together some resemblance of understanding. The material is tough, but it's slowing making sense. In fact, I have class in about an hour that I am not looking forward to attending.
I don't feel well. I feel sick, sort of. I didn't sleep at all last night ... just sat up and listened as the sounds of night gave way to the morning sounds I find so appealing. I don't remember ever really falling asleep- just sitting in my bed dreaming. I remember so vividly, almost like it was yesterday, preparing for such a new adventure in my life by coming down to Elon. I was so excited, so happy, and so scared. But that first night, that first kiss, that first embrace... wiped away every concern I had; it completed me. I had finally arrived at that point that I so cherished and dreamed of. I still remember it, like it was yesterday.
Yet, it's so far away.