This is gonna suck

[_jing_]

I think I might be gettin a cold,which for right now is HORRIBLE timming. This weekend is my first time helping out with the middle school retreat, and I have been looking forward to this for quite some time now. Hopefully its nothing that a good nights sleep can't handle. I have offically hit my biggest crossroad to date. and I dont know what to do. I am worried that friendships will be hurt with one choice, but I am worried about sheltering myself and allowing what should be the "wild times" of my life to pass me by. I felt like a comeplete loser all through high school. I was never invited to parties , (or was too "scared" to go to them) and I have always regreted this. First my exuse was I had no car or licence. I now have accsess to both. Then it was I am too young to go anywhere. Now I am 21 but now face one mof my strongest demons ever. Basically both my parents have alcohol problems, and so I am now able to easily fall into this dark pit. So the question I must ask, do I attempt to run this dangerous pass, and live the life I think I want, or do I stay away and always wonder what if...
either way has its points I dont want.

......

IM OUT