My Extrordinarly Bland Evening
I started my day by waking up from a horrific nightmare but i got about 5 hours of sleep in so i guess thats good for me. Then i ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and watched 90210. Then my mother drove me to rita kornmuffin's office (one of many therapists) Talked about nothing then threw up in her trash can because the meds im on make me very nauseas and i cant seem to keep food down. Then i decided to walk hom from BEVERLY HILLS TO CHEVIOT HILLS which wasn't really a smart choice hense the terms HILLS. As i was walking dehydrated up cliffs i got a hemerging nose bleed and ruined one of the last of my baseball shirts. Then i started coughing up blood when i made it home i fed the pets and had a diet coke. Then i went to the mall with my mom to pick some shit, of course then we got ina fight and i left on my journey to walk home yet again. So im walking sweating my brains out, with blood all over my shirt, and my hair in rats nest pig tails. As im turning the corner to walk up another monsterous hill known as Northvale. The civic pops up in my face and in the civic included all of the skin heads that i didnt want to see were talkin Juarez, Jason, Big and Little Steve... After being appaled and vomiting once again i made it home. I was sitting here and then i get a text message (oh no) its Jason saying how theres going to be a party and i should go so i cancel my plans hop in the shower.
Then my door rings its rebecca which was a lovely suprise.. We hung out for a bit. Then when she left i started gettin ready and believe you me as hard as this is to believe i threw on my fancy shows and got all dolled up. I go to the kitchen to get my cell phone to soo that low and be hold there is a god damn water bug in my fuckin face. So naturally i ran out of the house (mind you my foot is gushing flood because i shredded it on the shower door)
Next thing i know its gettin late and miyoko roles up (thank goodness) and manages to get my cell from the kitchen. Only so we could find out that Jason was blowing us off. " sorry hun i would say that you could come to Andrew's but..." Oh yeah but the mother fucker fuckin hates me for absolutely no reason so of course i wouldnt be let in his house. ( i really hope his ass reads this entry) So jason is drunk and tells me to meet him at the Promenade plus i was supposed to be down there anyway so Miyoko and i took off to the beach. Then we moped around over payed for diet cokes, had my ankles, bleeding freezing, only to find out that Jason was meeting us but he didnt know what street we were on. I couldve found him if i made the effort but i was to fuckin pissed to bother. So, i took Miyoko home and now im here. Babbling about nothing to get my mind off things. Reading Jasons text messages and listening to the pixies greatest hits.
I need sleeping pills to get to sleep and there in the kitchen so i am sure fuckin hell not goin in the kitchen after the water bug experience. Please, after that im not even getting into bed. So i will be sitting here for the rest of the night. Thinking about how much i hate my summer, school, my hair, my face, my body, skin heads, and Rosey (my cousins bird that im takin care of who doesnt stop fuckin starring at me).
Since my night had been so damn bland i plan on blowing off all of my plans tomorow and sitting in my sweat pants watching Clifford. I am still kind of trying to bounce back from my nervous break down but when of the love of your life hates you its a weeeee bit difficult. The zoloft and the Saraquell really isnt fuckin helping me except for insomnia and loosing weight rapidly. I fuckin hate having to take medication more then anything i have so many different doctors and perscriptions that i cant even see straight. Summer sucks and i need some kind of inspiration... Something life altering and exciting needs to happen. I love my friends but driving in Javier going the same places to see the same idiotic morons is to the point of humiliation. Also, while im rambling in coheriently i thought id state that i didnt go to the river this year ( i go every year of my life to the sacramento river for a week) I wait the entire year for this trip but this year im to down and schitzo to even move.
Usually i am very depressed during the school year but the summer makes me forget all of my problems but this year it seems to be worsening them.
On a lighter note i also got a job i get to design a fashion line for "emo" kids yeah cause im so fuckin emo and stylish.......
On a completely random note I havnt been smoking weed or drinking lately. Well thats not true at all. I have been drinking just not a lot and i havnt done drugs in like a month. Your probably asking yourself why? the answer to that is cause i cant do that much with my meds now. I think i am going to go back to habitually smoking marijuana cigarettes. Even, though weed suckkkkkkkkssssssss but its a way i guess to get out of my mind frame. Ill probably od but maybe thats a fuckin good thing.
Whoever actually wasted there time reading this or commenting is a TWAT!!