(no subject)
So the past few days have been really emotional for me, i'm not sure if I'm just mad/upset or it's just the pregnancy!!! Neways I have got to get a few things out of me because if I keep them inside much longer I may fall to pieces emotionally!! So here goes...........
I've always known that my dad has had a different relationship with my brothers than he did with me. I always felt left out just because I was the only girl, now a different scenario comes into play..I feel as if my dad doesn't even know i'm his daughter, it's like in his eyes I don't even exist..my dad has a new family, now don't get me wrong I love Debbie,Adrienne & Derek more than anything else in this world, but... I just wish my dad would treat me like he treats them... It hurts me so bad to even talk/think about it.. I just wish my dad would be a part of my life.. I call all the time, he's never home.. I always say tell dad to call me back but does he? No he doesn't, ever since I got pregnant it's been 10 times worse... What kills me the most is I make an effort to call him and everything, I called last weekend and said that I was going to grannys house and he said he'd be there in a a little bit and you know what's funny? I believed him and I waited there for like 2 hours and did he ever show? Nope.. I don't know what I have to do to get him to realize how much it hurts me and how much it bothers me that he doesnt act like he's my dad!!! I'm so tired of trying to be a daughter to a man who doesnt want to be my father.. I just wish my dad knew how I felt and how he's tearing me apart inside..
I just feel like i'm so alone.. like i'm a little girl in a great big ole world...My brothers don't like me, my dad doesn't know I exist, my stepfamily don't even acknowledge my existence.I have no friends..
The only people I feel that care about me are Chris & my mom... it's sad that I have two people that I can honestly say I feel loved by..
i'ma go because i've done made myself cry again thinking about my dad. i've done nothing but cry for the past three days... maybe one day someone will realize how much i'm hurting...just maybe!!
I've always known that my dad has had a different relationship with my brothers than he did with me. I always felt left out just because I was the only girl, now a different scenario comes into play..I feel as if my dad doesn't even know i'm his daughter, it's like in his eyes I don't even exist..my dad has a new family, now don't get me wrong I love Debbie,Adrienne & Derek more than anything else in this world, but... I just wish my dad would treat me like he treats them... It hurts me so bad to even talk/think about it.. I just wish my dad would be a part of my life.. I call all the time, he's never home.. I always say tell dad to call me back but does he? No he doesn't, ever since I got pregnant it's been 10 times worse... What kills me the most is I make an effort to call him and everything, I called last weekend and said that I was going to grannys house and he said he'd be there in a a little bit and you know what's funny? I believed him and I waited there for like 2 hours and did he ever show? Nope.. I don't know what I have to do to get him to realize how much it hurts me and how much it bothers me that he doesnt act like he's my dad!!! I'm so tired of trying to be a daughter to a man who doesnt want to be my father.. I just wish my dad knew how I felt and how he's tearing me apart inside..
I just feel like i'm so alone.. like i'm a little girl in a great big ole world...My brothers don't like me, my dad doesn't know I exist, my stepfamily don't even acknowledge my existence.I have no friends..
The only people I feel that care about me are Chris & my mom... it's sad that I have two people that I can honestly say I feel loved by..
i'ma go because i've done made myself cry again thinking about my dad. i've done nothing but cry for the past three days... maybe one day someone will realize how much i'm hurting...just maybe!!