(no subject)
Milo Here 2 Rock: -walks into your place, looking kind of urgent- Jared?!!
iusedtobedean: -sits on couch, just staring blankly-
Milo Here 2 Rock: -jogs over to the couch and kneels in front of you, placing his hands on your sides- Jared...are you okay? Ashley said you were looking for me...are you alright? What happened? Are you okay?!!
iusedtobedean: you slept at your house last night, huh?
Milo Here 2 Rock: No...I was at Chad's. Why, what's wrong? Is everything okay?
iusedtobedean: You spent the night at Chad's?
Milo Here 2 Rock: -nods- Yeah...because everyone crashed out there. I thought it'd be kinda mean to just up and leave. -laughs lightly- What's wrong?
iusedtobedean: -shakes head- I was invited, too?
Milo Here 2 Rock: -nods- Yeah...I mean, you weren't not invited. It wasn't really an invitation-only thing, it's just Chad's. -shrugs-
iusedtobedean: Did you notice I didn't make it?
Milo Here 2 Rock: -nods- Yeah...I did actually. KD and AJ were around, I kinda wanted you there. She still wants to meet you. -smiles-
iusedtobedean: You wanna know why I didn't make it?
Milo Here 2 Rock: -shrugs- Sure...what's up?
iusedtobedean: Check your voicemail
iusedtobedean: you know?
iusedtobedean: On your cell phone?
Milo Here 2 Rock: -shrugs- The only voicemail I had was that you needed to see me...like you were hurt or something.
Milo Here 2 Rock: [[What message are you actually talking about? lol.]]
iusedtobedean: Cute!Jared or Bad!Jared...
Milo Here 2 Rock: -sighs- Ah...got it now. -puts his hand on your stomach and rubs it gently- Is everything okay now?
iusedtobedean: -narrows eyes-
Milo Here 2 Rock: -frowns- Food poisoning...that's why you didn't come, yes? I'm so confused.
iusedtobedean: Did you have fun?
Milo Here 2 Rock: Baby...I'm asking if you are okay. Stop changing the subject.
iusedtobedean: Did you have fun messing around with Ashley?
iusedtobedean: -gets up and leaves the room-
Milo Here 2 Rock: -shakes his head and follows you into another room- Excuse me?
iusedtobedean: You heard me
iusedtobedean: -opens refrigator-
Milo Here 2 Rock: I didn't...mess around with ANYONE...
iusedtobedean: I check my messages. I answer my messages
iusedtobedean: You keep telling me..I mean alot to you
iusedtobedean: and yet...
iusedtobedean: -shakes head-
Milo Here 2 Rock: -seethes at the accusation that he's messing around with someone else- You listen to me Jared...I didn't mess around with ANYONE behind your back. You understand me? I love you more than any fucking thing on the face of the planet and if you're gonna cop this attitude with me even though you have NO idea what you're talking about then I'm outta here.
iusedtobedean: WHERE?
iusedtobedean: Where are you going?
iusedtobedean: You don't understand my anger at all?
iusedtobedean: Did I just jump the gun here?
iusedtobedean: Is this it?
iusedtobedean: Tell me, Milo
iusedtobedean: And I realized...while talking to Manda, I don't know you that well
Milo Here 2 Rock: -sighs- I don't know where I'll go but if you're gonna accuse me of stuff I didn't do all night then I don't need to be here to hear it.
iusedtobedean: Really
iusedtobedean: I don't know if you would string me on, just so you wouldn't hurt me
iusedtobedean: You missed that message completely?
iusedtobedean: "oh, it's just him. I'll see him at home. What were you saying?'
Milo Here 2 Rock: I SAW IT!! -sighs- I fucking saw it Jared...but what was I supposed to say in response? Seriously...what do you expect me to say?
iusedtobedean: Say something to me
iusedtobedean: You could say SOMETHING to me
iusedtobedean: I HAVE BEEN the one who put himself out on the line.
iusedtobedean: ME, Milo. ME
iusedtobedean: Do you have any idea how out of character that is for me? To be the one who makes the first move?
Milo Here 2 Rock: I didn't know what to say Jared...I didn't wanna promise you forever over a voicemail message. I don't know...if forever is something I can promise you. And... -scoffs and shakes his head, looking away- ...I just don't know what to say back to that.
iusedtobedean: It will all go away by pretending it never happened?
Milo Here 2 Rock: -clenches his fist- I wasn't pretending it didn't happen.
iusedtobedean: I..haven't seen you in two days!
iusedtobedean: Right after I.... -rubs neck- right after I called you
iusedtobedean: two days of messages, Milo
Milo Here 2 Rock: -sighs- I'm sorry.
iusedtobedean: Do you have any idea how that looks?
iusedtobedean: This is the one time....ONE TIME, me making the first move backfires at me
Milo Here 2 Rock: It didn't backfire at you...
iusedtobedean: You disappear, then I get messages about you and Ashley getting cheeky
iusedtobedean: What am I supposed to do?
iusedtobedean: What would you do?
iusedtobedean: Think about it. YOU'VE been here, Milo
Milo Here 2 Rock: I KNOW! Jesus...this is why...it's so hard. You really think I would just...run off with Ashley even after what happened to me? After everything I said to you? You think I would just lie to you?
Milo Here 2 Rock: I'm sorry that I didn't get back to you...but after that message, I didn't know what to say to you. Or what you wanted me to say.
iusedtobedean: I DON'T KNOW!
iusedtobedean: I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD DO!
iusedtobedean: I said...I said you seemed to be the kind of guy who would...keep going
iusedtobedean: just because you know exactly how it feels
Milo Here 2 Rock: And I am.
iusedtobedean: You would keep me on the side when you find someone else?
Milo Here 2 Rock: No...Christ! I'm the kind of person who will keep going with you. No one else. I don't have anyone else...Ashley and I are just friends. Why is that so bad?
iusedtobedean: I don't know...I don't...
iusedtobedean: I don't know
Milo Here 2 Rock: -sighs and walks over to you, placing his hands on your shoulders- Jared...I love you. Believe me. I would never hurt you...you mean everything to me. Ashley and I are just friends, I promise you. And I'm not looking for anyone else...you are...everything that I need.
Milo Here 2 Rock: I love you...can't that be enough?
iusedtobedean: To just know you love me...when I am the one....who acts like...the grown up here?
iusedtobedean: I AM SCARED, Milo
iusedtobedean: This...this is the first one I acted on ANY of these feelings
iusedtobedean: and it's with you
Milo Here 2 Rock: I'm scared too Jared...that I'm not doing enough for you or something.
iusedtobedean: You're my first boyfriend, MILO!
iusedtobedean: I've been put through SO MUCH shit...about this
iusedtobedean: and when I need you....When I need to communicate with you
iusedtobedean: When I need SOMETHING from you
iusedtobedean: You don't pick up
iusedtobedean: you don't answer the messages
iusedtobedean: not even a...give me more time, Jared
iusedtobedean: nothing
Milo Here 2 Rock: I didn't...wanna take the chance that if I said something like 'Give me more time' or...'I'll talk to you about it when I get home' that you would get upset. I thought it would just be better to talk about it when I saw you. I'm sorry...I just...I thought it would be better that way.
iusedtobedean: Am I just little stupid innocent Dean to you, Milo?
Milo Here 2 Rock: Of course not.
iusedtobedean: Then what's with this walking on fucking egg shells around Jared crap?
Milo Here 2 Rock: I don't know...I just don't wanna hurt you. I'm trying my best not to here.
iusedtobedean: Damn! I told you....I told you....
iusedtobedean: -shakes head and starts up the stairs-
Milo Here 2 Rock: -sighs- I'm sorry Jared...I don't know what else to tell you other than I'm sorry...and that I love you.
iusedtobedean: and now am I supposed to stand on the stairwell and come running, No I love you more, Milo?
iusedtobedean: -sits down- It's like I gave all and more
iusedtobedean: and came home to an empty house
iusedtobedean: woke up to an empty house
iusedtobedean: And this isn't even the house, the gifts....Nothing like that is your ball and chain, Milo
Milo Here 2 Rock: -sighs- I know...and I said sorry. And I'm here now. What else can I do? -shoves his hands in his pockets-
iusedtobedean: Convince me that this really is fair
iusedtobedean: that I really deserve you
iusedtobedean: and you really deserve me
iusedtobedean: Make me feel equal, because right now I'm feeling really juvienelle.
iusedtobedean: Tell me all my effort is enough
iusedtobedean: Can you do that?
iusedtobedean: -starts to stand up- Yeah
iusedtobedean: that's what I thought.
Milo Here 2 Rock: -walks over to you and gets on his knees on the step below you, taking your hand- Jared...you're more than something that I deserve...and I know that you've done everything in your power to make this work. And I'm so...sorry that you feel like I haven't been putting any effort back. I love you...more than anything else, and I'm here...and I'm yours. Only yours. Not Ashley's...or anyone else's. I'm your boy...your Milo. -smiles and presses his forehead against yours- I used to be the Milo that made you happy...
Milo Here 2 Rock: I love everything about you...and I'm sorry that we had some communication trouble and that I've been gone so much. I wanted you there with me last night though...I always want you with me...and I'd be honored to try and make you happy...forever. -smiles slightly- If the offer still stands.
iusedtobedean: -sits back down slowly-
iusedtobedean: -stares at you without blinking-
iusedtobedean: After everything I just said to you
iusedtobedean: everything
iusedtobedean: Everything...I told you I needed
Milo Here 2 Rock: You mean everything to me Jared...you brought me back to life. I love you.
iusedtobedean: stop!
Milo Here 2 Rock: Just...please don't walk away.
iusedtobedean: stop stop stop
Milo Here 2 Rock: Stop...what?
iusedtobedean: I'm not!
iusedtobedean: DAMMNIT!
iusedtobedean: -hits the wall-
Milo Here 2 Rock: Jared...what's going on?
iusedtobedean: shit. You can't go....you can't go and say I want to be with you forever after I told you...how....how you hurt me and all
iusedtobedean: and how I ... need so much, and you're still so broken...
Milo Here 2 Rock: But I do want to be with you forever...because I'm sorry that I hurt you and I wanna do everything I can to make it better. Because I love you.
iusedtobedean: and it took me forever to figure out how to say I want you to be mine forever
iusedtobedean: Milo!
iusedtobedean: Milo!
iusedtobedean: -kisses him-
iusedtobedean: You can't make this better by saying, yeah, we can get married
iusedtobedean: I accept if you'd calm down
iusedtobedean: Because I can't let this one go, like the AJ kiss
iusedtobedean: and I haven't let that go
iusedtobedean: though I said I would
iusedtobedean: it hurts, still
Milo Here 2 Rock: -shakes his head- I'm not saying we can be together forever to make this better...I'm saying that I want you forever. Even if you don't want me anymore.
iusedtobedean: -wipes eyes with the back of his hand- I could never...give you up
iusedtobedean: but I need to feel....secure
iusedtobedean: like the feeling I gave to you
iusedtobedean: I need them now, Milo
Milo Here 2 Rock: -smiles to you gently- Everything is secure. Look...it's just me..and you. And I'm not looking anywhere else.
Milo Here 2 Rock: I don't want anyone else. I don't want to be anywhere else...but here with you.
iusedtobedean: -grabs your hands and wraps your arms around his shoulders- Secure, Milo
iusedtobedean: I learned my lesson about words
Milo Here 2 Rock: -nods and squeezes his arms around you tighter- We are secure baby...we're okay. -kisses your forehead- I'll make sure of it.
iusedtobedean: -nods- promise
Milo Here 2 Rock: -smiles- I promise.
iusedtobedean: -cries-
Milo Here 2 Rock: -furrows his brow- Aww baby...what's wrong? -chuckles gently- I thought we were okay now.
iusedtobedean: I kept it inside...for what feels like forever
iusedtobedean: and all I did was set my universe around you
iusedtobedean: and this morning, when I woke up
iusedtobedean: It hit me
iusedtobedean: where did that get me?
iusedtobedean: I mean...all I did was call and call you...
iusedtobedean: because I couldn't...function, or even get out of bed because you weren't there
iusedtobedean: and then...I see all the rumors
iusedtobedean: and it's...
iusedtobedean: a slap in the face?
iusedtobedean: That you can ...go about your day without me
iusedtobedean: but here I was...feeling incomplete
Milo Here 2 Rock: -smiles and nuzzles his cheek- Everything's okay now...I was incomplete without you too. I just dealt with it...because I thought you were gonna show up at Chad's. And that I'd see you any minute. -sighs- And I'm sorry...but it's over now baby. I'm here and we're okay now.