Bah...
Iiiiiiiiiif... You're selfish and you know it, clap your hands !
*clap, clap*
Argharghargh, I am just so sick and tired of all this EFFORT and DRAMA in my life, and I want summer to come SO BADLY. *pout*
Coherency is a real problem for me lately.
I think I might be PMSing again, but I'm not sure. I usually get a crapload of zits at about the same time, and so far, the skin is clear. It might be these FRICKING bugbites that are all over me, and itch like little itchy... things.
First of all, would you like to know why I'm selfish ? It is because my little brother, who I love, I really do, but he's going through this period of extreme brattiness that I'm finding hard to cope with... well, he got the job. At the same place as me.
Honestly. There is one thing in his life that he does without me being there, and that's guitar. Everything else, school, band, YAC, Readers are Leaders, and now work, I was there first ! I don't even care about the other things so much, but the WORK part is driving me crazy !
He is working in an RBO, one of the little restaurants, which is good, because he mostly has to stay there, and I can avoid him as much as necessary. Downside: ... RBO players make more money. So, now my baby brother will be earning more than me.
My only hope is to get promoted to teamleader, which probably will not happen because why would they promote someone who is leaving for all of July ? They'd probably just pick someone else.
Anyway. Mom is delirious about his job, and he's really nervous, but was all anxious to talk about it today, and I just couldn't. I haven't yelled at him, and I hope to keep it that way. But I'm not going to be all, "Yay ! I have a shift with you on Wednesday ! We can, like, totally bond !"
Siiiigh. I'm so selfish. But I don't usually let myself be that way, so I've decided I'll wallow in it for a while. Good heavens.
I listened to my Disney's Hercules cd twice today. I'd forgotten how much fun songs like that can really be. I mean, I love all this hard, racing rock I've been getting my mitts on, but there's something to be said for songs with a plot, and characters, and such charm.
Hercules is especially good, because it's the closest to gospel music I've got. That last song at the end, "A Star is Born," has these unbelievable notes that I was able to hit effortlessly today ! That improved my mood a bit.
Wicked is also fabulous. So is Rent, and Moulin Rouge, and Chicago. Another highschool is putting on Moulin Rouge next week, and Lauren asked me to go, but I can't. I just can't. I'll either sob right in the middle, because I need to be up there, singing and acting on stage so very badly, and there's just no chance. Or, I'll just bottle in the aggravation, and have it eat away at me, which may in fact be worse that crying. Either way, I don't think I can handle the emotional trauma.
Also, have sold my soul to LJ in exchange for some more user icons. But they're so shiny, darnnit ! *patpat for icons*
*clap, clap*
Argharghargh, I am just so sick and tired of all this EFFORT and DRAMA in my life, and I want summer to come SO BADLY. *pout*
Coherency is a real problem for me lately.
I think I might be PMSing again, but I'm not sure. I usually get a crapload of zits at about the same time, and so far, the skin is clear. It might be these FRICKING bugbites that are all over me, and itch like little itchy... things.
First of all, would you like to know why I'm selfish ? It is because my little brother, who I love, I really do, but he's going through this period of extreme brattiness that I'm finding hard to cope with... well, he got the job. At the same place as me.
Honestly. There is one thing in his life that he does without me being there, and that's guitar. Everything else, school, band, YAC, Readers are Leaders, and now work, I was there first ! I don't even care about the other things so much, but the WORK part is driving me crazy !
He is working in an RBO, one of the little restaurants, which is good, because he mostly has to stay there, and I can avoid him as much as necessary. Downside: ... RBO players make more money. So, now my baby brother will be earning more than me.
My only hope is to get promoted to teamleader, which probably will not happen because why would they promote someone who is leaving for all of July ? They'd probably just pick someone else.
Anyway. Mom is delirious about his job, and he's really nervous, but was all anxious to talk about it today, and I just couldn't. I haven't yelled at him, and I hope to keep it that way. But I'm not going to be all, "Yay ! I have a shift with you on Wednesday ! We can, like, totally bond !"
Siiiigh. I'm so selfish. But I don't usually let myself be that way, so I've decided I'll wallow in it for a while. Good heavens.
I listened to my Disney's Hercules cd twice today. I'd forgotten how much fun songs like that can really be. I mean, I love all this hard, racing rock I've been getting my mitts on, but there's something to be said for songs with a plot, and characters, and such charm.
Hercules is especially good, because it's the closest to gospel music I've got. That last song at the end, "A Star is Born," has these unbelievable notes that I was able to hit effortlessly today ! That improved my mood a bit.
Wicked is also fabulous. So is Rent, and Moulin Rouge, and Chicago. Another highschool is putting on Moulin Rouge next week, and Lauren asked me to go, but I can't. I just can't. I'll either sob right in the middle, because I need to be up there, singing and acting on stage so very badly, and there's just no chance. Or, I'll just bottle in the aggravation, and have it eat away at me, which may in fact be worse that crying. Either way, I don't think I can handle the emotional trauma.
Also, have sold my soul to LJ in exchange for some more user icons. But they're so shiny, darnnit ! *patpat for icons*