Jack:In his Workshop
Jack left Ellie's Room, his pace quickening, almost storming back to his room. Anger, sadness, fear, it all mixed inside of him and he didn't know what to think. He arrived first in his work shop, picking up this tool, that length of wire, this washer, that screw, but he couldn't concentrate. He was...was he heartbroken? It was the end, it felt
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Fumbling as he realized who it was, the tool fell to the floor and he turned, spinning on the stool and almost falling off as he did his double take, "Oh, so..Sorry Anna, I didn't realize it was you," he mumbled, standing up and motioning to the room. "Uh," he realized he was scowling practically, "I ah, now...now's really not a good...time, Anna," he added, "this is my workship, I was just...working," he said vaguly, bending over to pick up the tool before climbing back onto the stool and picking up the wire, fumbling with it. "Do, did you need something?"
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"Its ok, sorry to startle you." Anna muttered, gesturing at the fallen tool.
"Are you working on something?" She asked, when he said it wasn't a good time. Moving over to the table, she looked at whatever he had been fiddling on. It made no sense to her, just a bunch of parts on a table. "Sorry, I don't mean to be nosy. Its just that this place reminds me of my dad's old workshop. He liked to play with machines and such, but it was only a hobby, and he wasn't very good. He was an accountant. I remember him spending hours in the basement, working on things like these..." She trailed off and blushed, mentally chiding herself. He doesn't care Anna, just go away and leave him alone. Obviously he is busy and doesn't want to be bothered. It was then that Anna remembered their earlier conversation, he had rushed off saying someone's name when he heard a scream. Anna thought hard about the name, what had it been? It started with an 'e'...
After a few tries, Anna remembered it. "Ellie." She said outloud, "Is she ok? You ran off in a hurry... I hope it was nothing too serious." Anna stopped, and waited on his answer.
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Tossing the wire down onto the work bench, Jack turned, about to ask Anna why she was telling him all of this exactly, when she blurted out the last word he wanted to hear right now. "Wh-what?" he squeaked out, blinking, what did Anna know of Ellie? He looked confused, then away as he realized what he'd been doing before everything. "Oh..oh, yeah, Ellie," he frowned again, the events, the conversation, it all ran through his mind, over and over again. He blinked and shook his head a bit to get his focus back, "Yes, yes she's fine, I...I think...yes, fine. No..nothing," he trailed off. Maybe it was serious, to Jack, to Ellie, but to the outside world it probably would just seem stupid, unimportant, no matter how badly it tore at his heart.
Clenching his jaw, Jack turned back to the appliance again, sighing, it was pointless, he'd never be able to concentrate and fix this, but at least it didn't matter if he fixed it or not. Tinkering was a hobby, if you made it work it became boring. "How's your brother?" he mumbled, figuring if she was going to go on about something, at least maybe it could be something that wouldn't make him think of Ellie.
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When Jack spoke of Ellie, a change came over him. it was visible even as she watched him try and shake it off. Almost like a sheild going up. He was frowning and muttering to her. The words he was saying were at odds with his expression. She frowned, and played with the bracelete on her wrist. "Seems like a rather big nothing..." Anna muttered in return. She was going to say more, and then realized how she sounded. It was not her place to pry and be nosy. Maybe he just doesn't want to talk about it... A voice warned in her head.
"Tatty?" She said when Jack mentioned him. His voice screaming her name tore through her mind. Her tongue as she tried to swallow felt thick, and heavy. "He..ah... is... um..." Her mind didn't want to say it, wanted to protect Tatty. No one but her really needed to know that he'd had a nightmare, except maybe Ryan, and he wasn't here. She didn't want people to think Tatty was strange because he wasn't, not to her. She understood. "He's--resting." She finished lamely, shaking her head.
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"I lived here, alone, for a good long while, kept the grille down, kept things locked up, but no one ever came in here, it was kind of quiet, lonely," he shrugged and tossed the tool down on the workbench, glancing at Anna sideways. She'd just invited herself in and sat right down, and he looked at her, dressed now, her clothes were different he realized, and her skirt was awful short. He averted his eyes and tried to remember the rest of the story, licking his lips as he continued, "Ah, um, hmm, Let me think now," he tapped his bottom lip with his right forefinger, contemplating the exact chain of events.
"Let's see, I believe Lex and Ryan and Zandra were all chasing Salene, Amber, Dal, Patsy, Paul, Cloe, and Bob, their dog, through the city, I never was too clear on that. I remember, Lex and Ryan and Zandra busted in after the intial group showed up, and I locked them, in the grille, those three, and introduced myself to the others. Dal and I soon became friends, he was a mechanic, technical, I was a scientist, together we built quite a few things," a bitter sweet smile crossed his face and he shook it off. "Dal died, a few years later. Haven't had a real best friend since," he explained quietly. "So far we've only lost Paul, he ran away, and Zan," he stopped short, "Paul, and Dal, we haven't seen them in years, and now, Zandra is back. After they joined us, we had a few others, Sasha, he was a visitor for a while, Trudy and Bray showed up shortly after the first group of kids arrived, and Trudy had Brady here, in the Mall. Tai-San, KC, they came later, and we spent a lot of time hiding away from the Loco's, from Zoot," he lifted his eyebrows and leaned in as he mentioned him, knowing everyone knew who Zoot was. "Just, we had a lot of adventures, good and bad," he nodded absently. There was no way he could tell Anna about it all, it was so much, too much had happened, and that was all before he met Ellie.
The weight of the past seemed to sit very heavily upon his shoulders suddenly, and he sat up quickly, as if to shove it off of his sagging shoulders. "Anyway, that was then, it's different now, much, different, we're all older, wiser, we've all been through," he blinked and shook his head, trying to find a nicer word than hell, "trials, a lot, learned things, loved, lost friends, grown, survived," he trailed off again, looking at that lone wire and picking it up, twirling it nervously. "What about you? What was your life before you met Ryan? After? We, you know we haven't seen him in a couple of years, what, have you known him that long?"
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"I was born last in my family. I had four other sisters, but they were all older than me. They had moved out by the time I was born, my oldest sister Maraia had a daughter about my age that I used to play with...but they moved away pre-virus. After the virus, my parents got sick. After my dad died, I was sent to live with one of my other sisters. But, she caught the virus too." She missed them, more and more as the time past. "I was 8 at the time." Shaking her head, she looked around. "I met a girl, Joelle. She and a few others had created their own tribe." Anna smiled sadly at the thought of it. "The Princess Tribe." Anna shrugged absently. "Joelle taught me everything about surviving in the city without adults, how to find food and stay healthy. We did great, for a time. One day Joelle and I were searching for food. The Demon Dogs showed up and we got split apart." Her voice caught and she felt the saddess again at the loss of Joelle. She would have loved this place. "I watched them..." Anna coughed, trying to hide the tears in her voice, "...hit her with a metal pipe. She didn't get back up after that...and I couldn't wake her." Each time she talked about it, it was a little easier to face the fact. Even so, the pain was still there. Anna shook her head, bringing herself back to the now, there was no use dwelling in the past.
"I hid myself away in an old apartment and stayed there til I felt safe looking for food. I forged for food the way Joelle taught me, and bascilly just tried to survive. I found Flower in the apartment while Kerry, her brother, was out searching for food. She told me that I should stick with them, and after talking to Kerry, he agreed." She looked at Jack, how much did she dare tell him? He was the only person, who wasn't part of her family, that had talked to her for more than a few minutes. If she was going to be friends with people though, she needed to be honest. Her heart thudded loudly in her ears as she started to go over the next part.
"It was all my fault." She muttered, "Kerry told me about the Chosen. They were offering food and shelter for those who were willing to whorship Zoot. I never believed Zoot, but the promise of food and clothing was...just...so tempting. I thought," She shook her head, frusterated, "I thought we'd be safer there. I was so stupid." Anna pursed her lips. "I urged Kerry to take us there, we didn't have to actaully believe." Her stomach turned at the idea and she hated talking about it. "I promised Flower that we'd never be seperated. First they sent Kerry to the mines, then when Flower and I threw a fit, they sent me to a work camp." Her voice caught again, and she tried to clear it. "I met Willow there. She served food to people in the mines. It was through her that I eventually got a letter to Kerry." She sighed. "After the camps were liberated, I found Kerry and Flower again. Kerry was at the same mine that Ryan was in. In the end, we joined up and became Ryan's Tribe. After we left the camps behind, I found Tatty by himself in the woods. It took a long to get him to talk to me, but I'm stubborn and patient, so I waited. He eventually came around. Though he doesn't really talk to anyone, aside from Ryan and I..." Her voice trailed off. She hadn't told many about the Chosen, or even Joelle. Anna hoped his reaction wouldn't be one of disgust and horror. Waiting, she twisted nervouly in her seat and watched him closely.
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Thoughts of the Chosen made him angry, led him to think of Luke, and he glared. It was his fault that Anna and her friends and family had gone through what they'd gone through, it was Luke's fault that he and Ellie weren't together right now, it was Luke's fault that Jack had been sent to the mines, and he was nearly fuming inside thinking about all of it. Jack glanced up at Anna, and her face, her eyes searching his, made him relax, he didn't want her to think he thought badly of her.
"I, you know, the Chosen, they took over the Mall for a while, the Guardian himself lived upstairs," he pointed in the general direction of the office complex. "They ah, they took me away, sent me to work in the mines, I don't, really know what happened, only that the Mall Rats defeated them, the Guardian. Luke, that boy with the blue hair? He was the second in command, but he's a Mall Rat now, I guess," Jack's eyes narrowed at that, "He ah, he stole my girl, Ellie, from me while I was slaving away in the mines," his voice was quiet, bitter.
Glancing up, Jack realized he'd made it about himself, "Sorry, you ah, had to go through that, the Chosen were horrible, but you shoudln't blame yourself. They did bad things, and took what they wanted, but they're gone now," he nodded and gave her a soft smile, thinking over everything she'd said. "The Princess Tribe, sounds familiar, actually," he uncrossed his arms and pointed at her in thought, "I think, they came to Tribal meetings before the Chosen took over the Mall, yeah, maybe, maybe you know some of the girls," he offered, trying to remember where they were sectored. "I don't, well I don't know where their headquarters is, but maybe Sal would," he added with a shrug.
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Anna let Jack’s voice wash over her as he talked. Her mind took in what he said about the Chosen and she nodded. Everyone had had their lives changed by the Chosen, everyone. Jack and the Mallrats were no exception to this rule. Shaking her head slowly, Anna looked back up at Jack. “I’m always afraid to say something about my experiences with them. I don’t think really anyone at the mall knows. I mean, we joined of our own will. It was supposed to be safe.” Anna was angry at their false promises. Pursing her lips, she got up and crossed her arms, walking around the room, away from Jack. She hated the Chosen camps and the time she spent there, but some good had come of it. She'd met Willow, Tatty, and of course Ryan. And now, here in the mall, she felt mostly safe if a little lonely. “I know there was no way that I could have known…but even so…” She shrugged her shoulders, back to him and rubbed her arms. “I just can’t stop thinking about being there. I don’t think anyone who dealt with them will ever forget.”
When he mentioned her old tribe, her eyes went wide. Was it even possible, turning quickly she walked over and stood in front of him. “The Princess Tribe?” She asked looking him in the eye. “Imagine, seeing them…after so long. I wonder who is still with them…” She gave Jack a big smile. “You have no idea how great it is to hear that in some form, they still exist.” Anna was so excited by the news. Then she thought about them, out in the city and her smile faltered. The city was so scary. “They are out in the city…in a different sector…?” She bit her lip. Maybe once she talked to Salene, Ryan could take her…or Kerry.
Then she remembered what else he’d said. “Luke used to be with the Chosen? I never knew that. The Mallrats must be very forgiving. And he stole Ellie from you? How did that happen? I mean, if the Chosen took over the Mall, wouldn’t the Mallrats fight against them?” She paused, “Ellie… she was the girl who screamed earlier today.” Anna began to draw the lines of connection. “How come you and Ellie aren’t together anymore? I mean, you two cared about each other… and when you came back… why didn’t you just pick up where things ended when you were taken to the mines?” Anna stopped, closed her mouth, and blushing, looked away. What do you know anyway. She thought.
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He still felt badly, when she stood there with her back to him, rubbing her arms, “Well, you know, the Chosen, they told a lot of lies, got a lot of people to believe them, Anna, to feel safe. You're...you know, you're not a psychic, you couldn't have known they would, would do..what they did,” he frowned, he wanted to stand up and go comfort her, but he didn't know her that well, and she wasn't a friend or anything. Was she? He'd told her things he wouldn't just share with an aquaintance, did that mean he trusted her on some level? Don't be silly...you're just being friendly, she's a part of your tribe now, that's all, his rational inner voice, always there.
There wasn't time to dwell on it, she was across the room and talking animatedly to him about her old Tribe, “Yeah well don't get your hopes up, Anna, it's been what, at least four years since you were a part of that? A lot, you know, changes, in four years,” he trailed off again, how could he crush her thoughts and hopes like that? “But you know, a lot, stays the same as the years go on, so yeah, maybe you will, you know, know a few...”
“How can they not be forgiving? Half of them were Chosen themselves, the Mall Rats. Trudy was the Supreme Mother, Brady is the Divine Child,” Jack began, ticking off the people he could think of, that he knew of, “I think May joined, Salene,” he added, raising his eyebrows and leaning towards her again before sitting back up. “Bray is Zoot's brother, but you know, they aren't bad people, and they left the Chosen, or whatever, and they're Mall Rats. We've always fought for justice, fought to do what was right, and I guess, someone, somewhere, decided that letting Luke be a Mall Rat...” he stopped and gave her a puzzled expression.
“We did,” he interjected, “We tried, to fight back, to not let them take over, but they had,” he made a quick hand movement to indicate the staffs the Chosen had carried, “Weapons....I tried to find an escape, after they took over the Mall, down in the sewers, but,” he shook his head, it had been a waste, they'd only beaten him up and taken him away. He gave her a sideways glance when she asked about Ellie, sighing and tossing the wire onto the workbench, this time turning his back to her.
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“I thought that after all this time, she'd want to be with me, but when he showed up here again...she just fell back into her old ways, unsure, trying to make a choice. We...we talked, earlier, when she screamed, she was upset, because it's hard, I guess, on her,” he wiped at his face again, his tribal markings smearing a bit. “I don't..there's nothing, anymore, and you know, if she chose me over him, in the end, I'd just wonder if she wanted, you know, Luke, perpetually waiting for the other shoe to drop, and, and if she chose him, I'd just, I couldn't do it anymore, not again. She'll break my heart, again, and I can't,” he stopped himself, sniffling pathetically. He felt better, now that he'd gotten some of it off of his chest, but he was embarassed, and he felt stupid. “Um, I'm tired, I, can you leave, please, just, go,” he said a bit forcefully, still not looking in her direction.
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Trying to hide the tears that wouldn’t stop falling, Anna slide back up onto her stool and hung her head. She let Jack’s speech about the other’s who briefly joined with the Chosen flow over her. In a way a soothed her, she wasn’t the only way who had been tricked. She was, however, to locked in the past to let it comfort over much. Pressing her lips together she willed herself to stop the tears. They would help nothing and she did not want to come off as weak. At first, Anna didn’t notice the silence that followed Jack’s speech about the Chosen. Looking up, she saw that he had his back to her and that he was completely motionless. Holding herself very still, Anna waited. The atmosphere in the room went from easy to serious in only a few heartbeats.
When Anna thought that the silence would never end, and that she should just excuse herself, Jack began to speak. As he slowly began to unravel the story about Ellie, everything started to fall into place in her head. Suddenly, Anna understood why he was hesitant to say anything of Ellie earlier. The story itself was heartbreaking. Anna could somewhat understand what Ellie had done and why. What baffled her was the fact that Ellie led two people who she obviously loved, who loved her, on for so long. If you loved someone, you wouldn’t torture them like that. The thought angered Anna. If someone was lucky enough to find love in this world, they shouldn’t trample all over it. Her frown deepened the more he spoke. She could hear his voice break through out the story, could hear the tears as he mentioned having to witness their love for each other.
As he finished the story, he asked her to leave. Anna didn’t move. Tatty always wanted her to leave after her fits, and usually that was when he needed her the most. She stood there, warring with herself. Anna hadn’t known Jack that long, but he was obviously in pain, and whether he wanted comfort or not, he was going to get it. Steeling herself, Anna picked up her stool and set it next to Jack’s.
Sitting on the stool, Anna laid her hand against Jack’s back. “I’m sorry Jack, I really am.” She paused, “I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better, I wish I had magic words to set it all right…but I don’t. I mean, I could sit here and tell you how everything was alright, that you’ll eventually get over to seeing them together…but I don’t think that’s true. No matter what happens, seeing them together is always going to hurt somewhere in you. All I know is that it’s easier to get through something if someone is there to listen, or just to be there. And that’s all I can offer.” As she spoke Anna rubbed his back slowly and waited in silence for whatever would happen.
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