Nervousness transforms me...
Today, Kasch goes back to the vet. They had rescheduled his appointment, due to the vet having a "family emergency." Looking at Kasch...I am afraid of hearing the news, and what the vet thinks. My poor dog has lost weight, and it is noticeable. He is eating, yes. But, it isn't doing much in way of bulking him back up, at all. It is a terrible sight to behold, and it hurts to see him that way. I am to the point I wish I could send someone else with him, but he is my dog, and I will not sit around while others hear the news and I am simply wondering. I have to speak with the vet myself, no matter how hard it is.
So much is flashing through my mind. The biggest thing is...what if it comes down to euthanasia? I wouldn't do it right now, but it would be a major decision that would need to be made as quickly as possible, so as not to cause unnecessary suffering to the dog. I would never cause him to suffer just for the sake of keeping him around. I would, however, need to take a few days to raise the money for yet another visit, and whatever other costs there are after it is finished.
I don't even want to think about it, but right now, it seems like that is what is going to happen. I don't want it to. It's so hard to think about life without my Kasch, my Boo. He loves me dearly, as I love him dearly. He always has to "hug" me, lick me, be near me. Things would be SO different and...EMPTY...without him. I don't even want to consider putting him to rest, but it might have to be that way. I'm just talking in circles. It all just happened so quickly. One week he's happy, seems healthy, next week...he is dying. This is why I try SO hard not to take things for granted. You just never know what might happen. As terrible as it is, it will force you to enjoy life more. I try to every day. I don't want to live a life I didn't have fun with. A dog isn't like that. A dog is happy and carefree. We should all follow their example.
I once read somewhere...and I did forget where...that we shouldn't be sad when our dogs are put to rest, because dogs are happy, and the dog would want you to be happy, too.
I am so scared of what the vet will say. I can't shake it. My best friend...I hope there is more we can do for him. I really, really do.
Goodnight.
So much is flashing through my mind. The biggest thing is...what if it comes down to euthanasia? I wouldn't do it right now, but it would be a major decision that would need to be made as quickly as possible, so as not to cause unnecessary suffering to the dog. I would never cause him to suffer just for the sake of keeping him around. I would, however, need to take a few days to raise the money for yet another visit, and whatever other costs there are after it is finished.
I don't even want to think about it, but right now, it seems like that is what is going to happen. I don't want it to. It's so hard to think about life without my Kasch, my Boo. He loves me dearly, as I love him dearly. He always has to "hug" me, lick me, be near me. Things would be SO different and...EMPTY...without him. I don't even want to consider putting him to rest, but it might have to be that way. I'm just talking in circles. It all just happened so quickly. One week he's happy, seems healthy, next week...he is dying. This is why I try SO hard not to take things for granted. You just never know what might happen. As terrible as it is, it will force you to enjoy life more. I try to every day. I don't want to live a life I didn't have fun with. A dog isn't like that. A dog is happy and carefree. We should all follow their example.
I once read somewhere...and I did forget where...that we shouldn't be sad when our dogs are put to rest, because dogs are happy, and the dog would want you to be happy, too.
I am so scared of what the vet will say. I can't shake it. My best friend...I hope there is more we can do for him. I really, really do.
Goodnight.