(no subject)
Spencer is officially gone, and we're offially done. Am i officially crushed? Yes. Will i survive? Yes. Im sorry to all those i talked to last night. I acted childish, foolish, and stupid. I chose to deal with my problem with drinking myself silly, only to pester some of you with my own ailments.
Our last night together was awesome, maybe even the best. I don't think there are any feelings that can compare to the feeling i get in the arms of him. I was so secure, so self assured, so me. It was bittersweet getting to see him, but also knowing that he was leaving. I made the best of the night though, and loved it for the most part.
Then yesterday i went to San francisco with his family to say goodbye (they went with him). The goodbye was akward, scary as fuck, and depressing.I didn't know what to say but he looked me in the eye and said "Ill love you always." and then kissed me, which made the moment perfect (one of the best and worst feelings ever).
After he left i got in my car and drove through the city. I parkedm got out and just walked the streets for a while. I must have looked dumb as hell walking the streets of San Francisco alone and crying. Then i passed a homeless man on the street, which caused me to all out ball because here i was wearing clean clothes and well fed crying about my boyfriend leaving when there are so many more important things i should be worried about. I felt so utterly stupid at that point that i just decided to leave and go home. O yes, and to make matters worse there was some gay pride thing going on so there were multitudes of couples around (which was like smearing the shit in my face).
Thanks to all of you that were there for me though. Thank you for putting up for my immature, pathetic antics.
Love is hard goddamit, but if you are in love, grab that love by the balls and never let go.
The end.fuck me. have a nice day.
Our last night together was awesome, maybe even the best. I don't think there are any feelings that can compare to the feeling i get in the arms of him. I was so secure, so self assured, so me. It was bittersweet getting to see him, but also knowing that he was leaving. I made the best of the night though, and loved it for the most part.
Then yesterday i went to San francisco with his family to say goodbye (they went with him). The goodbye was akward, scary as fuck, and depressing.I didn't know what to say but he looked me in the eye and said "Ill love you always." and then kissed me, which made the moment perfect (one of the best and worst feelings ever).
After he left i got in my car and drove through the city. I parkedm got out and just walked the streets for a while. I must have looked dumb as hell walking the streets of San Francisco alone and crying. Then i passed a homeless man on the street, which caused me to all out ball because here i was wearing clean clothes and well fed crying about my boyfriend leaving when there are so many more important things i should be worried about. I felt so utterly stupid at that point that i just decided to leave and go home. O yes, and to make matters worse there was some gay pride thing going on so there were multitudes of couples around (which was like smearing the shit in my face).
Thanks to all of you that were there for me though. Thank you for putting up for my immature, pathetic antics.
Love is hard goddamit, but if you are in love, grab that love by the balls and never let go.
The end.fuck me. have a nice day.