(no subject)
riiiight. mary's entry inspired me. i love knowing whats going on in her life. out in waianae all the kids are constantly fighting with friends, boyfriends, girls their boyfriends got pregnant (i teach in the #1 school for teen pregnancy in hawaii) aaand they call it "dramas" as in...."miss, i got dramassss" yeah, they call me miss. well, they call everyone miss, unless shes older, then shes miss or aunty, if shes not an authority figure. but anyway, i cant wait til mary doesnt have any more dramas. especially not over chris fucking leanzo. man we beat that horse to death.
so lets see...i come back to new york on the 22nd of nov. i leave here the 21st though. i am flying through the night on a red eye. i cannnnntttt wait. i feel terrible, i think my mom thinks i hate it here. and i really dont. its terrible, how much i miss craig...but we are great and i couldnt ask for anything or anyone better than him. i think without him i would have lost it a long time ago. but its hard missing my best friend. and its hard talking about getting married when i havent seen him in nearly 2 months. i like it here, i do. but my school is hard. the kids are hard. they dont care about anything and yes, theyre fun sometimes and they have taught me A LOT. but now im ready to teach kids that actually give a shit about something. i know 40% of my kids wont go to college...they wont need to know in text citation...and so why should they learn it? i dont have a reason for them. i just wish craig were here and i could come home and fall into bed with him for a bit.
my kids are not threatening, i know i can do it. but work is just SO HARD lately. its a constant battle. theyre either rude or insubordinate or just not there....i have kids that i havent seen in 3 weeks...we have NO ATTENDANCE POLICY...what?!?! just...no one in hawaii gives a shit about anything. thats what i dont get. theyre all on island time? alright. thats fine. they wanna speak pidgin and "ainokea miss, 'dis dakine work i no wanna do. i go for work at longs miss, i no time for dakine work." yes. okay. thats proper english. yeah, do i let it out, sure. when i yell at them i let things slip but jesus...CARE ABOUT SOMETHING. they dont know anything about what goes on in the world or even on the mainland. i think thats why i love D.C. so much...everyone pretty much cares about something...its a very humanitarian...activist place...and i know i can be so happy here. not cos i am an activist, but cos i care about things and there will be other people around who care about things.
whew. i havent done a bitch session on here in forever.
so lets see...i come back to new york on the 22nd of nov. i leave here the 21st though. i am flying through the night on a red eye. i cannnnntttt wait. i feel terrible, i think my mom thinks i hate it here. and i really dont. its terrible, how much i miss craig...but we are great and i couldnt ask for anything or anyone better than him. i think without him i would have lost it a long time ago. but its hard missing my best friend. and its hard talking about getting married when i havent seen him in nearly 2 months. i like it here, i do. but my school is hard. the kids are hard. they dont care about anything and yes, theyre fun sometimes and they have taught me A LOT. but now im ready to teach kids that actually give a shit about something. i know 40% of my kids wont go to college...they wont need to know in text citation...and so why should they learn it? i dont have a reason for them. i just wish craig were here and i could come home and fall into bed with him for a bit.
my kids are not threatening, i know i can do it. but work is just SO HARD lately. its a constant battle. theyre either rude or insubordinate or just not there....i have kids that i havent seen in 3 weeks...we have NO ATTENDANCE POLICY...what?!?! just...no one in hawaii gives a shit about anything. thats what i dont get. theyre all on island time? alright. thats fine. they wanna speak pidgin and "ainokea miss, 'dis dakine work i no wanna do. i go for work at longs miss, i no time for dakine work." yes. okay. thats proper english. yeah, do i let it out, sure. when i yell at them i let things slip but jesus...CARE ABOUT SOMETHING. they dont know anything about what goes on in the world or even on the mainland. i think thats why i love D.C. so much...everyone pretty much cares about something...its a very humanitarian...activist place...and i know i can be so happy here. not cos i am an activist, but cos i care about things and there will be other people around who care about things.
whew. i havent done a bitch session on here in forever.