I can still recall our last summer..
I've been cheated by you since I don't know when
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end
Look at me now, will I ever learn?
I don't know how but I suddenly lose control
There's a fire within my soul
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything,
I've been angry and sad about things that you do
I can't count all the times that I've told you we're through
And when you go, when you slam the door
I think you know that you won't be away too long
You know that I'm not that strong.
here I go again how can I resist you?
does it show again? just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go? now I really know,
I could never let you go.
urghh. hirams been filling my head for the past week. just one day i woke up nd he was all i cud think about, so i took tht as a reason to call him. like intuition. and tlking to him was just like everyother time ive tlked to him, happy and sad at the same time. he told me he still loves me, and tht made me happy, cuz i noe tht no matter how stupid or btchy or loud or quiet i am, if i laugh, cry, scream or just smile. i noe he loves me. but then it depresses me. because no matter how much he loves me or how much i love him it cud never go bak to the way it was. i cud never just forget al the pain ive gone throu because of him. even if it was a mistake even if hes sorry. withc i belivie he is. He doesnt lie to me. about ne thing so i noe tht wen he says he loves me he means it and wen he appoligizes and his voice gets soft i noe hes not just saying it to make me feel better. i guess the worst part of it all is tht he was the only guy ive ever loved. the only one where i new i cud soend the rest of my life with and never look back. everything was so perfect. and its almost a year.. since we broke up. december 23rd i think. rite before christmas. the one secret he ever kept from me. sliped out and my whole world came crashing down. ... megan asked me the other day wat the point of me going to msi was. and i sed idk but if i hadnt i wudnt of met hiram. and then it seemed like a bad thing. but now tht im thinking about it more nd more. i woulda been better off. i wudnt live my life in love with sumone i cud no longer have. its not like i live in pain or like i cry about him still. no its just everytime i try to move on theres this nawing in my stomach and i noe tht no one will ever measure up to hiram. and i just cant seem to shake tht reality. will this ever go away? they say ur first love never dies. but it has to.. it just does
okaii now tht i got all tht out.. i feel allil better. soo im rounded this week. =( no matter its only a week. i miss this weekend but o well. saturday or sunday my dad may take me to see the tree. its our tradition. after he takes me shopping at new york and co and i get clothes while shopping for my mom. haha so its all good. christmas break is almost here.! yay. then just a few monthes and its summer. this summer will be even sexier then last summer becus it will include my family and megans family going to rocking horse dud ranch. soo yea thts enuff typing for mee
Lauren<3it makes me mad.. cuz i wanna be happy so bad
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end
Look at me now, will I ever learn?
I don't know how but I suddenly lose control
There's a fire within my soul
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything,
I've been angry and sad about things that you do
I can't count all the times that I've told you we're through
And when you go, when you slam the door
I think you know that you won't be away too long
You know that I'm not that strong.
here I go again how can I resist you?
does it show again? just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go? now I really know,
I could never let you go.
urghh. hirams been filling my head for the past week. just one day i woke up nd he was all i cud think about, so i took tht as a reason to call him. like intuition. and tlking to him was just like everyother time ive tlked to him, happy and sad at the same time. he told me he still loves me, and tht made me happy, cuz i noe tht no matter how stupid or btchy or loud or quiet i am, if i laugh, cry, scream or just smile. i noe he loves me. but then it depresses me. because no matter how much he loves me or how much i love him it cud never go bak to the way it was. i cud never just forget al the pain ive gone throu because of him. even if it was a mistake even if hes sorry. withc i belivie he is. He doesnt lie to me. about ne thing so i noe tht wen he says he loves me he means it and wen he appoligizes and his voice gets soft i noe hes not just saying it to make me feel better. i guess the worst part of it all is tht he was the only guy ive ever loved. the only one where i new i cud soend the rest of my life with and never look back. everything was so perfect. and its almost a year.. since we broke up. december 23rd i think. rite before christmas. the one secret he ever kept from me. sliped out and my whole world came crashing down. ... megan asked me the other day wat the point of me going to msi was. and i sed idk but if i hadnt i wudnt of met hiram. and then it seemed like a bad thing. but now tht im thinking about it more nd more. i woulda been better off. i wudnt live my life in love with sumone i cud no longer have. its not like i live in pain or like i cry about him still. no its just everytime i try to move on theres this nawing in my stomach and i noe tht no one will ever measure up to hiram. and i just cant seem to shake tht reality. will this ever go away? they say ur first love never dies. but it has to.. it just does
okaii now tht i got all tht out.. i feel allil better. soo im rounded this week. =( no matter its only a week. i miss this weekend but o well. saturday or sunday my dad may take me to see the tree. its our tradition. after he takes me shopping at new york and co and i get clothes while shopping for my mom. haha so its all good. christmas break is almost here.! yay. then just a few monthes and its summer. this summer will be even sexier then last summer becus it will include my family and megans family going to rocking horse dud ranch. soo yea thts enuff typing for mee
Lauren<3it makes me mad.. cuz i wanna be happy so bad