memories of all those lies
have you ever found about two dozen floppy disks in your desk drawer and wondered what was on them? haha... i did...
i was going through my desk drawer to find a disk for my english compositions class and i found these disks that had labels on them with convos, pictures and misc things... so i was looking through them and the convos had some between me and john, dom and i and whoever else... well i was reading the ones i had with john and in every single one he always ended up mentioning that "we're too close to hurt eachother and if we did hurt eachother we are able to work through it and move past it... we're too good of friends and i like that..." if that was true then why in the hell is he acting like such an asshole... i can't take it... i miss having him around... i don't understand... i'm just so tired of being lied too... it doesn't take much effort to make a phone call... hell, i definitely don't have a life... i'm taking 5 classes (15 credits -- i know doesn't sound like much) where each class assigns like 100 pages to read and a shit load of written homework for next class so after class i come home do homework until the first aid radio goes off... at that point i rush to the allentown first aid squad (hopefully i make the rig in time)... after the call i usually help ruthie out with stuff... and if i'm not in class, doing homework or not at the first aid building, i'm usually working... so i barely have time to see friends let alone be in a relationship... but i know for sure that i do have time to call a friend (even if it's for five fucking minutes to say hi and to let them know that they're on my mind)... a five minute phone call can mean the world to a person... i dunno... can someone please tell me how to stop caring so much? can someone tell me how to be coldhearted? can someone tell me how to hate him? i can't take caring about people the way i do... it's fuckin retarded... i'm beginning to be annoyed with a lot of people... anywho... time to finish homework... i've done enough procrastinating...
i was going through my desk drawer to find a disk for my english compositions class and i found these disks that had labels on them with convos, pictures and misc things... so i was looking through them and the convos had some between me and john, dom and i and whoever else... well i was reading the ones i had with john and in every single one he always ended up mentioning that "we're too close to hurt eachother and if we did hurt eachother we are able to work through it and move past it... we're too good of friends and i like that..." if that was true then why in the hell is he acting like such an asshole... i can't take it... i miss having him around... i don't understand... i'm just so tired of being lied too... it doesn't take much effort to make a phone call... hell, i definitely don't have a life... i'm taking 5 classes (15 credits -- i know doesn't sound like much) where each class assigns like 100 pages to read and a shit load of written homework for next class so after class i come home do homework until the first aid radio goes off... at that point i rush to the allentown first aid squad (hopefully i make the rig in time)... after the call i usually help ruthie out with stuff... and if i'm not in class, doing homework or not at the first aid building, i'm usually working... so i barely have time to see friends let alone be in a relationship... but i know for sure that i do have time to call a friend (even if it's for five fucking minutes to say hi and to let them know that they're on my mind)... a five minute phone call can mean the world to a person... i dunno... can someone please tell me how to stop caring so much? can someone tell me how to be coldhearted? can someone tell me how to hate him? i can't take caring about people the way i do... it's fuckin retarded... i'm beginning to be annoyed with a lot of people... anywho... time to finish homework... i've done enough procrastinating...