trust the voice within
i came to some sort of vague realization today. i feel like lately i've been so lazy in every aspect of my life. overall i just feel like i could do so much better. i can be a better daughter, a better friend, i could be a better dancer, i could have been more prepared and not biffed my piano recital, i could have gotten my act together and not be struggling in english, and the list goes on and on. i understand it's too late now to fix the past, but i just feel like i need to step it up now. maybe right now it's just a random surge of adrenaline as a result of dance tonight, but this is important to me. i've been given so many opportunities to do something great. sometiimes i just simply don't have the motivation or the energy to do better, strive to be the best, just generally be a better person. sometimes i really think i just flake out on things just because i feel like it. i'm a really safe person. im not brave, i don't like being confronted. it's just time for me to not be so insecure about some things. i think one reason i was thinking about this today is the fact that i almost feel like time is running out. im ending my junior year, and after senior year, who knows where the hell i'll be. i just want to make sure i take this time that i have to achieve something. i'm not really one for like awards and medals, but i want to be able to feel that sense of accomplishment. i don't care if others notice, i just need to do it for me. i'm in the position where i think i can really make an impact next year, and i want to be able to seize it and take it somewhere. so thanks to everybody that supports me and keeps me going. believe it or not, every little thing matters to me. and if i start moaning about crap, i just need you to be like shut the fuck up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. much appreciated.