admitting that you are powerless over drugs and alcohol and that your life has become unmanageable

[_intentionally_]

went to a meeting tonite with tonya and jake. tonya's gonna sponser me to make sure i do the right thing, since i'm not capable of really doing that for myself right now 100%. work the steps. meetings. support. get a scheduale, routine down. a lot of anxiety still right now...havent slept in what seems like fucking FOREVER. walking dead. depressions not so bad tonite, yet it comes and goes. some days are better or worse than others. miss paul right now. can't think ahead...tonya tells me "one day at a time". i cant help but planning ahead, but i have to stop it bc when i do, i get overwhelmed. i go crazy.
god help me. take this fucking shit from me bc i just cant do it anymore.