(no subject)
One year…One year of the way back. Back to myself. Trying to find myself in this world. Trying to find my way through the shadows of past. Trying to move on with lack of faith, and not believing in anything.
And it’s just 2 hours from France to Dover. Just 2 hours of peace. Dark waves of the channel and white cliffs on the other side. And 2 hours to realize that escaping is not the right solution. We can change countries, cities. We can lie, get new friends and try to forget everything with another bottle of wine. But you will never run away from yourself. And the question is not about bad or good. It’s just about what are you going to do with it.
And the decision to come back is something more than just another few hours and few borders. It’s just desire to stop and to face the answers to eternal Russian questions “Who is responsible?” and “What to do?” And it’s not about people, it’s more about myself. It’s more to find what is real, and what was just another act of this play called Life.
Starting from the beginning. To be a daughter, sister, aunt. To believe, to feel, to love. To work, to study. Get to know the real business and country. To analyse, to calculate, to discover. And huge desire to cry: Stop! - from the understanding of what’s going on in this world.
And then suddenly to realize that life changed when in the morning you sitting in a small cafe. And looking out of the window and thinking about for how long you haven’t seen the sun. Waiting just to talk, just to share. To share what you feel, to share your desire to live.
Desire to live. To live. What ever this life is bringing you. Despite the all what is being said follow the way of heart. To live while alive...
Last year at this time I was in Paris… I was in Paris… Someday, long-long time ago…
And it’s just 2 hours from France to Dover. Just 2 hours of peace. Dark waves of the channel and white cliffs on the other side. And 2 hours to realize that escaping is not the right solution. We can change countries, cities. We can lie, get new friends and try to forget everything with another bottle of wine. But you will never run away from yourself. And the question is not about bad or good. It’s just about what are you going to do with it.
And the decision to come back is something more than just another few hours and few borders. It’s just desire to stop and to face the answers to eternal Russian questions “Who is responsible?” and “What to do?” And it’s not about people, it’s more about myself. It’s more to find what is real, and what was just another act of this play called Life.
Starting from the beginning. To be a daughter, sister, aunt. To believe, to feel, to love. To work, to study. Get to know the real business and country. To analyse, to calculate, to discover. And huge desire to cry: Stop! - from the understanding of what’s going on in this world.
And then suddenly to realize that life changed when in the morning you sitting in a small cafe. And looking out of the window and thinking about for how long you haven’t seen the sun. Waiting just to talk, just to share. To share what you feel, to share your desire to live.
Desire to live. To live. What ever this life is bringing you. Despite the all what is being said follow the way of heart. To live while alive...
Last year at this time I was in Paris… I was in Paris… Someday, long-long time ago…