I can't comment with anything directly useful, as somewhere between the two but with a stronger leaning to INFP. Since I actually saw this post, I figure I might as well answer my own personal response.
I don't show what I feel if I'm hurting. I just keep thinking about what it means to show what I feel and all the strings and implications attached if I do. I don't hide that I suffer very well, though, as a result. It all just spills over... probably because I'm too taxed to cover it up as well as I want to. The whole point is to not parade it to people so they feel obligated as nice people to do something for me when I feel they shouldn't, because not everyone is treated nicely when they suffer.
So far I've met someone that I do say if I am suffering to, and maybe it's because I think they might actually benefit from hearing it. I don't know which side of me is the one that needs this convincing, if not both. I make certain it's not a one-way street, though... that and I don't want to see a dependence on fixing my problems over the person's own. Then again, I can't say I'm in a relationship, because I'm not capable of that yet. Just too... self-centered, perhaps.
The attitude of "you should know" comes from being holed up in subroutines for too long. You forget to come up for air and see that people see things differently from you. They see what you don't, don't see what you do, as well as a mixture of both. Anxiety makes the airholes harder to find. You become demanding that comfort conform to your wishes, not what is realistic or preferable.
I cannot say what these wishes would be, because it depends on the person.
we're actually both borderline between FP and TP him having 68% feeling and me 58% thinking
"I don't show what I feel if I'm hurting. I just keep thinking about what it means to show what I feel and all the strings and implications attached if I do. I don't hide that I suffer very well, though, as a result. It all just spills over... probably because I'm too taxed to cover it up as well as I want to. The whole point is to not parade it to people so they feel obligated as nice people to do something for me when I feel they shouldn't,"
i do this too, but because i think i don't like to show weakness and vulnerability because i expect people to laugh or judge. sometimes i do it automatically and don't think a lot why. i also think it's because i'd rather focus on my feelings and thought patterns on my own to see what they tell me rahter than have a quick judgement from the outside (my sister is INTJ and while giving good advice and so on she comes off as not sensitive or understanding to me)
I don't show what I feel if I'm hurting. I just keep thinking about what it means to show what I feel and all the strings and implications attached if I do. I don't hide that I suffer very well, though, as a result. It all just spills over... probably because I'm too taxed to cover it up as well as I want to. The whole point is to not parade it to people so they feel obligated as nice people to do something for me when I feel they shouldn't, because not everyone is treated nicely when they suffer.
So far I've met someone that I do say if I am suffering to, and maybe it's because I think they might actually benefit from hearing it. I don't know which side of me is the one that needs this convincing, if not both. I make certain it's not a one-way street, though... that and I don't want to see a dependence on fixing my problems over the person's own. Then again, I can't say I'm in a relationship, because I'm not capable of that yet. Just too... self-centered, perhaps.
The attitude of "you should know" comes from being holed up in subroutines for too long. You forget to come up for air and see that people see things differently from you. They see what you don't, don't see what you do, as well as a mixture of both. Anxiety makes the airholes harder to find. You become demanding that comfort conform to your wishes, not what is realistic or preferable.
I cannot say what these wishes would be, because it depends on the person.
And that's about it.
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"I don't show what I feel if I'm hurting. I just keep thinking about what it means to show what I feel and all the strings and implications attached if I do. I don't hide that I suffer very well, though, as a result. It all just spills over... probably because I'm too taxed to cover it up as well as I want to. The whole point is to not parade it to people so they feel obligated as nice people to do something for me when I feel they shouldn't,"
i do this too, but because i think i don't like to show weakness and vulnerability because i expect people to laugh or judge. sometimes i do it automatically and don't think a lot why. i also think it's because i'd rather focus on my feelings and thought patterns on my own to see what they tell me rahter than have a quick judgement from the outside
(my sister is INTJ and while giving good advice and so on she comes off as not sensitive or understanding to me)
thanks for your input
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