hypocrites can fuck off.
yeah so i just made a big mistake. sorry for being a hypocrite. i just didnt know what else to do. i hate being mad and i needed release.
i hate how money and greed get in the way of friendships. i hate promises broken and getting your hopes up and then getting them torn apart. but all in all i hate how friendships can seem so real but then realizing you're just another person in the world and as long as some people get what they want they dont care if they hurt you. yeah, thats what i hate most.
i hate how when my mom has a bad day at work im the only one she comes home to. and im the only one she can bitch at after she gets drunk. i hate how she wants to talk, and even though i say i dont want to hear it i do. i hate the glossiness of her eyes and the smell of her breath when she screams that im failing her and that im just like my dad.
i hate how she pulls him into things. he's the victim. not her. not me. he's the lost one. she says she is too but if she is she doesnt act it. not until there is booze in her system and hate and despair in her heart. she's the one the makes him turn to the things he does. she's the one who influence him to ditch me. she's the problem. she's the problem. she doesnt see it. she's not all together, i wish she would stop acting like it. i with she'd stop acting like she's better than me. i wish --
i wish she wouldnt come in my room and demand an essay with the topic of edline, a site that has my currect grades on it, and why i shouldnt be grounded the rest of the week. and why i wouldnt like to live with my dad. like its not fucking obvious. she just has to remind me everyday just how many times he ditched me and made me feel like the lonliest person in the world. she just has to keep reminding me she has the power over where i live. like last time she said something about kicking me out, the day after that she just said i was a handful and that she needed some space sometimes.
but she just cant say that. she has to fuck with my head, and rip out my heart. she cant just be honest. she has to hurt someone else. and its me. and i fucking hate it so damn much.
prom was this weekend. i really enjoyed it and afterwards.
i hate how money and greed get in the way of friendships. i hate promises broken and getting your hopes up and then getting them torn apart. but all in all i hate how friendships can seem so real but then realizing you're just another person in the world and as long as some people get what they want they dont care if they hurt you. yeah, thats what i hate most.
i hate how when my mom has a bad day at work im the only one she comes home to. and im the only one she can bitch at after she gets drunk. i hate how she wants to talk, and even though i say i dont want to hear it i do. i hate the glossiness of her eyes and the smell of her breath when she screams that im failing her and that im just like my dad.
i hate how she pulls him into things. he's the victim. not her. not me. he's the lost one. she says she is too but if she is she doesnt act it. not until there is booze in her system and hate and despair in her heart. she's the one the makes him turn to the things he does. she's the one who influence him to ditch me. she's the problem. she's the problem. she doesnt see it. she's not all together, i wish she would stop acting like it. i with she'd stop acting like she's better than me. i wish --
i wish she wouldnt come in my room and demand an essay with the topic of edline, a site that has my currect grades on it, and why i shouldnt be grounded the rest of the week. and why i wouldnt like to live with my dad. like its not fucking obvious. she just has to remind me everyday just how many times he ditched me and made me feel like the lonliest person in the world. she just has to keep reminding me she has the power over where i live. like last time she said something about kicking me out, the day after that she just said i was a handful and that she needed some space sometimes.
but she just cant say that. she has to fuck with my head, and rip out my heart. she cant just be honest. she has to hurt someone else. and its me. and i fucking hate it so damn much.
prom was this weekend. i really enjoyed it and afterwards.