well hi!
well hello LJ and company. i swear i am still alive.
January was the last post--well damn.
Lots has happened since. Sort of. Well, lots and nothing at all.
Joseph and I are as great as ever and I will be moving in with him in June, depending on how the replacement thing works out. i have mixed feelings about it, and they go back and forth depending on the day. some days, especially when we are at his house, my mentality is "awesome! we are going to move in together! I want to live with him! this is going to simplify so much!" other days it's, "holy shit, i'm moving out of the best living arrangement i've ever had. i'm going to fucking miss these guys." also i worry about my cats. four whole kitties in one apartment. my kitties are going from a whole 3-level house to a 1 bedroom apartment--for a short time. his lease is up in nov/dec, and we plan to move into our own place, a house is our preference. (buying? no, renting.) moving twice in a year...it is a bit much. we've been talking about it for a while, and i do like the idea, but there's this thing inside me somewhere that kinda feels like maybe right now isn't the best time?
...that's the first time i've admitted that to myself.
i guess on some level i'm fearful that i'm just going to hole myself up into this little world and forget about everyone else. being that far (his apartment) is just awfully far from the places i enjoy (ie, decatur). it's so easy to say, "oh that's too far, i think i'll just stay home." plus after work, getting back to his place, i'd be exhausted and not want to go back out to meet up with anyone. but i do love him and i love knowing that he is there at the end of the day. i love the comfort of going to sleep next to him. we do have a system now that sort of works, but we waste so much time having to pack stuff up for one person's house or the other and then driving from one house to the other. it's inefficient and honestly kind of a pain in the ass. it's sort of nice on the weekends to have two home-bases. sure, we could just spend weekdays apart, but i want to see him every day, not just talk on the phone. we maintain a pretty good level of physical contact when we are near one another, and i just hate not having it.
i'm just terribly conflicted.
then there are moments in the morning when rob and i are both trying to cook breakfast that i think, "jesus christ, if we were living together, i wouldn't have a roommate getting in the way of my breakfast." nor would i have rob bitching to me about dishes, which are usually his anyway.
right now is a good time to look for a roommate. grad schools start up wayyy before undergrad, so i have no doubt that grad students are trying to find housing. a house near downtown decatur for $430/mo? fuck yes. albeit that includes two roommates...but the point is...
yes, it is the next logical step and yes, it makes sense to do it for so many reasons (financially, emotionally etc.) but maybe i'm just too invested in what i have now? i'm too connected? *sigh* i want to live with him, i'm just sad about leaving these guys.
January was the last post--well damn.
Lots has happened since. Sort of. Well, lots and nothing at all.
Joseph and I are as great as ever and I will be moving in with him in June, depending on how the replacement thing works out. i have mixed feelings about it, and they go back and forth depending on the day. some days, especially when we are at his house, my mentality is "awesome! we are going to move in together! I want to live with him! this is going to simplify so much!" other days it's, "holy shit, i'm moving out of the best living arrangement i've ever had. i'm going to fucking miss these guys." also i worry about my cats. four whole kitties in one apartment. my kitties are going from a whole 3-level house to a 1 bedroom apartment--for a short time. his lease is up in nov/dec, and we plan to move into our own place, a house is our preference. (buying? no, renting.) moving twice in a year...it is a bit much. we've been talking about it for a while, and i do like the idea, but there's this thing inside me somewhere that kinda feels like maybe right now isn't the best time?
...that's the first time i've admitted that to myself.
i guess on some level i'm fearful that i'm just going to hole myself up into this little world and forget about everyone else. being that far (his apartment) is just awfully far from the places i enjoy (ie, decatur). it's so easy to say, "oh that's too far, i think i'll just stay home." plus after work, getting back to his place, i'd be exhausted and not want to go back out to meet up with anyone. but i do love him and i love knowing that he is there at the end of the day. i love the comfort of going to sleep next to him. we do have a system now that sort of works, but we waste so much time having to pack stuff up for one person's house or the other and then driving from one house to the other. it's inefficient and honestly kind of a pain in the ass. it's sort of nice on the weekends to have two home-bases. sure, we could just spend weekdays apart, but i want to see him every day, not just talk on the phone. we maintain a pretty good level of physical contact when we are near one another, and i just hate not having it.
i'm just terribly conflicted.
then there are moments in the morning when rob and i are both trying to cook breakfast that i think, "jesus christ, if we were living together, i wouldn't have a roommate getting in the way of my breakfast." nor would i have rob bitching to me about dishes, which are usually his anyway.
right now is a good time to look for a roommate. grad schools start up wayyy before undergrad, so i have no doubt that grad students are trying to find housing. a house near downtown decatur for $430/mo? fuck yes. albeit that includes two roommates...but the point is...
yes, it is the next logical step and yes, it makes sense to do it for so many reasons (financially, emotionally etc.) but maybe i'm just too invested in what i have now? i'm too connected? *sigh* i want to live with him, i'm just sad about leaving these guys.