I quite don't understand life.
I feel alot better now. James and Jenn picked me up and I spent the night at James. Roughly around 1:30 am we shot fireworks out and everyone came out and got pissed. Then we went to walmart and I bought a cheesy movie. It's called SHriek I know what you did last friday the 13th. I haven't seen it yet since I broke james dvd player. Overall my shitty night ended up turning alright. It's really weird because I look at life and think why am I here? Lately I've been really depressed over the little stuff. I guess the little stuff can really affect you in ways that all you want to do is cry. I'll eventually get over it. I mean...I'm 20 years old and I still cry. That's pretty pathetic. I guess I'll never get over my stupid lil emo days. I think the music doesn't help much either...just makes me think of more sad things. It seems that James and Jenn so far have been the ones there for me. To drive all the way out to come get me...that's real friendship. I think I would have been really depressed if they didn't pick me up. I'm sorry for alot of things I've done. I'm not a perfect guy. I try but I guess all I do is fuck up. I think I'll always be nothing but a fuck up. I'm sorry Brittany that I've been too sweet I guess. I just care about her and I just show it. I'll stop being so sweet....I can understand how that could smuther someone...and for your dad being the way he is. I'm totally cool with that. I mean..if I waited 3 weeks for you then I can be cool with that. I just really want to get to know you and really have a great time in my life with you. I pretty much just want to be happy. I'm sick of being the one crying over everything and acheiving nothing but the tears droping down from my eyes. I am surprised I still have tears coming down and I haven't wasted them all. Oh well...I guess I'm done for now.