christina by name; SLUT by REPUTATION???

[_impactdivision]

i hate being tall. i hate that i am not tanned. i hate that i wear a size 8-8&1/2 shoe. i hate my hands. i hate my teeth. i hate that i have BROWN eyes. i hate my freckles..or whatever they are. i hate my small boobs!@ i hate my italian nose. [i used to like it..but fuck it] i hate my hair. i hate my haircut. i hate my ears. i hate my stomach. i hate that i am not in shape. i hate that i don't have an appetite anymore. i hate that i can't sleep anymore. i hate SPIDERMAN. i hate spanish flashcards. i hate that i can't sit/stand up straight even if my life depended on it. [i know i have skulliosis] i hate being made fun of, even if that person was joking. i hate the thought of dying. i hate volunteering at the hospital. i hate not having any money. i hate looking at pretty girls and wishing that i would look like them. i hate being jealous. i hate that i can't stand up for myself. i hate knowing that people talk shit behind my back. i hate knowing that i'm one of the nicest people known to mankind and yet people still talk shit about me. i hate losing friends. i hate losing diana. i hate easily getting depressed.. fast. i hate being skinny. i hate i HATE MY PHONE. i hate pretending to be happy, when i'm really not. i hate being EMO. i hate not going to church. i hate praying to GOD everynight wishing that everything will be okay. i hate the way my family notices that i'm sad all the time. i hate getting spoiled by my parents just so they know i'm happy. i hate my family. i hate being afraid. i hate HOW PEOPLE CATEGORIZE YOU FOR THE TYPE OF MUSIC YOU LISTEN TO. i hate how people think that they know you. i hate how people think that they are better than others. i hate beaners that whistle at me when i walk the streets. i hate when people call me slut. i hate crying so hard that my face turns into a trillion red dots. i hate being the follower..instead of the leader. i hate penguins. i hate being seventeen. i hate people who are flakes. i hate being led on. i hate WAITING. i hate BOYS. i hate "hooking up"? i hate BEING LED ON BY A GUY TO A POINT WHERE I JUST FALL FOR HIM. i hate being led on. i hate my name. i hate downey. i hate how my brother grinds his teeth at night. i hate alarm clocks. i hate time. i hate romance. i hate HATING. i hate keeping things inside and not expressing how i feel. i hate not having GUTS. i hate remembering the best times of my life. i hate headaches. i hate being lazy. i hate school. i hate homework. i hate procrastinating. i hate BEING ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET SINCE I WAS IN THE SIXTH GRADE. i hate AIM. [without it, i would be more concentrated on schoolwork.] i hate not being a social butterfly. i hate not reading. i hate when my parents/relatives compare me to others. i hate my room. i hate the fact that i've never felt special by a guy before. i hate feeling like a toy. i hate obcessing. i hate how ryan seacrest is so hot i can't even explain. i hate my dad for caring more about my brother and baseball than our family. i hate choosing. i hate THE SMELL OF INSENCE. i hate how i know i that i will not be happy..for a long long time. i hate the summer. i hate the winter. hell, i hate autumn. i hate not being experienced. i hate that all my cousins [who are all fucking younger than me] either have a boyfriend, or they're dating someone. i hate how danielle, jessica, and jennifer are all fucking smarter than me..and they are younger than me. i hate not being involved in an sports or clubs. i hate knowing that i won't get accepted to any GOOD colleges right out of high school. i hate knowing that my dreams won't come true. i hate not having my permit. i hate not having a car. i hate that i have to find a job sometime soon. i hate not getting a lot of respect. i hate living under strict rules in this god damn house. i hate not having fun. i hate that i want to turn back time. i hate being a girl. i hate getting so sad that i dedicate a whole day to crying in my room. i hate eating grilled cheese sandwiches everyday because i don't know how to make anything else. i hate how everyone is better at everything. i hate failing. i hate insects. i hate drugs. i hate my mom for saying that i can't get a nose piercing. i hate that when something SO good happens...it never lasts...but it feels so fucking good when i have it. i hate not knowing the feeling of love. i hate listening to marilyn manson even though i own all his cds and i love him. i hate how johnny depp's cheekbones are gorgeous. i hate leaving. i hate rain in paris. i hate airplanes. i hate signatures. i hate titles. i hate ernest hemmingway. i hate yearbooks. i hate the fact that i'm going to be twenty in three years. i hate my life. i hate livejournal. i hate you. i hate me.

FUCK.

goodbye fellow livejournal-ers. this is goodbye for awhile. i'm leaving.