(no subject)
The time will say 10:50 but it's actually almost 2pm now. I don't really think I want to take a nap just yet because then I'll be bored later when I'm awake and it's late and I'm missing you. And by you, I don't really mean anyone in particular. People I've met over the past few years, even few months. I don't know, do I?
Well, November 1, 2007 I said I wanted to go travelling because this place got bored with me. It was getting too cold and people were becoming too unkind and Providence became a bucket. November 14th, or maybe it was the 13th, we all took off in that god damn jeep. Car PACKED! Why did we have so much stuff? Seriously, no idea where we were going to end up, with a car full of clothes, camping gear, instruments, and four kids. And I thought, two weeks prior, that I was stuck. Haha, how wrong is that; the idea of being stuck? You can't pin these wings. We cruised down to New Orleans for Thanksgiving. It felt amazing to leave that place, because for a solid week I was a ghost in my own skin. Destination: The Sunshine State! Fabulous!
Needless to say, everyone went in different directions by January. And without that happening, I would not have met and learned my lesson as the "new" kid. Cruisin around Florida with this total starperson, no joke. Spending the days with our thumbs out. But most times communicating so well. Beyond words. Through transfer of this amazing energy that so often swells up inside when I go even as far as thinking about it (which happens to be quite often!) See, when we first met, it was hard to see eachother, and not because we weren't physically around eachother but because my aura and his were actually quite dull. Can you believe it! Like, the first time we actually were introduced I didn't see him at all to be honest. I barely remembering being introduced and I think it may have been a day later I saw him again tying some kids crystal in hemp and I think he saw me too. For a second. It's kind of like a dream now that I think about it how it all happened. Because I can remember but it seems like one second was one year in that tiny little gap of time. Everything is frozen and I can just totally see everything about this kid inside and out. He knew it too and I think the minute he did, maybe we got scared, maybe it was my fault, but it went away quick. But then we happen to be hanging out on the same school bus, sitting by the same fire, silently seeing something but holding back from wanting the truth. But it keeps happening and I'm talking to Johanna and he comes over and asks if she wants to go to town, but I'm looking back like, "dude I wanna go." Lots of drama in the woods, Alyssa needs to get away! And they both notice that and I'm packing up my stuff and he says, "I can roll your sleeping bag." I wanna do it. But I end up asking anyways. 4 days. 4 days to get tobacco and maybe some buds. So we walk out and immediately start having some awesome luck. I'm walking down this dirt road talking to this kid about god knows what!(why can't i see his face!?) Asks me what my favorite color is and I say yellow. He said that's what he guessed. why? the lighter pocket around my neck with the yellow lighter in it. He likes yellow too. Green also, so we stop and smoke a joint. And we hug and it's SO powerful. I'm starting to believe in this great journey more and more. And by the way, his dog is an adorable little Dahlia Flower.
Why is it now at this very moment that I start to believe so much? That all these great gifts are from The One True God. When did this happen? Did I always believe? I think God answered a lot of prayer that day. 1/14/08. A new year. The end of a 9 year epicycle and the begining of a new one. Time to release that which is old and to face that which we do not know. The future! It's here and now! This is the time to do it, and so it will be done. Isn't that something?
From 40 to 75, down 75 to Tampa with ANISTON. Why is it that when I think of Tampa, I think of this night. Raging demons thrashing through the air, waiting on a victim to fall prey to their fangs. It's a strange feeling to walk out of a room and into another room that your afraid might hold your death. We were in a hotel room with these guys we met, which was probably the first dumb move. I was in the bathroom, and you know what I'm hearing? He's getting his ass beat out there and he's trying to scream to me. He's telling me what's going on out there, he's telling me that I have to be brave, that we have to be brave. That no matter what happens we're together and we can make it through this as a team. You know what, I KNOW I'm going to get raped out there. All these five men are going to have their way with me and they are going to force him to watch and probably continue kicking his ass while they do it. So I looked in the mirror, and I told myself to be brave. And I walked out of that room. And everything was fine. I go over too him and hug him and we both know we gotta get out of there as soon as possible. He felt it too. Even when we are out, I'm thinking that they might be following us. They'll find us if they want it that bad. I'm tweaking out man. I'm not tripping, we didn't get dosed with anything. Just breathe okay honey? Okay. And that is how we chased those demons away that night. I grabbed onto that man's hand and looked him dead in the eye and we sang praises. Isn't that something? And wouldn't you know that it rained that night while we slept sheltered under the palmfauns. And guess what else? We woke up that morning smiling at an orange tree provided for breakfast! This is too beautiful. Are you my Mamma? ;)
This is January. I still have February March April and soon it'll be May.
I need a nap.
Well, November 1, 2007 I said I wanted to go travelling because this place got bored with me. It was getting too cold and people were becoming too unkind and Providence became a bucket. November 14th, or maybe it was the 13th, we all took off in that god damn jeep. Car PACKED! Why did we have so much stuff? Seriously, no idea where we were going to end up, with a car full of clothes, camping gear, instruments, and four kids. And I thought, two weeks prior, that I was stuck. Haha, how wrong is that; the idea of being stuck? You can't pin these wings. We cruised down to New Orleans for Thanksgiving. It felt amazing to leave that place, because for a solid week I was a ghost in my own skin. Destination: The Sunshine State! Fabulous!
Needless to say, everyone went in different directions by January. And without that happening, I would not have met and learned my lesson as the "new" kid. Cruisin around Florida with this total starperson, no joke. Spending the days with our thumbs out. But most times communicating so well. Beyond words. Through transfer of this amazing energy that so often swells up inside when I go even as far as thinking about it (which happens to be quite often!) See, when we first met, it was hard to see eachother, and not because we weren't physically around eachother but because my aura and his were actually quite dull. Can you believe it! Like, the first time we actually were introduced I didn't see him at all to be honest. I barely remembering being introduced and I think it may have been a day later I saw him again tying some kids crystal in hemp and I think he saw me too. For a second. It's kind of like a dream now that I think about it how it all happened. Because I can remember but it seems like one second was one year in that tiny little gap of time. Everything is frozen and I can just totally see everything about this kid inside and out. He knew it too and I think the minute he did, maybe we got scared, maybe it was my fault, but it went away quick. But then we happen to be hanging out on the same school bus, sitting by the same fire, silently seeing something but holding back from wanting the truth. But it keeps happening and I'm talking to Johanna and he comes over and asks if she wants to go to town, but I'm looking back like, "dude I wanna go." Lots of drama in the woods, Alyssa needs to get away! And they both notice that and I'm packing up my stuff and he says, "I can roll your sleeping bag." I wanna do it. But I end up asking anyways. 4 days. 4 days to get tobacco and maybe some buds. So we walk out and immediately start having some awesome luck. I'm walking down this dirt road talking to this kid about god knows what!(why can't i see his face!?) Asks me what my favorite color is and I say yellow. He said that's what he guessed. why? the lighter pocket around my neck with the yellow lighter in it. He likes yellow too. Green also, so we stop and smoke a joint. And we hug and it's SO powerful. I'm starting to believe in this great journey more and more. And by the way, his dog is an adorable little Dahlia Flower.
Why is it now at this very moment that I start to believe so much? That all these great gifts are from The One True God. When did this happen? Did I always believe? I think God answered a lot of prayer that day. 1/14/08. A new year. The end of a 9 year epicycle and the begining of a new one. Time to release that which is old and to face that which we do not know. The future! It's here and now! This is the time to do it, and so it will be done. Isn't that something?
From 40 to 75, down 75 to Tampa with ANISTON. Why is it that when I think of Tampa, I think of this night. Raging demons thrashing through the air, waiting on a victim to fall prey to their fangs. It's a strange feeling to walk out of a room and into another room that your afraid might hold your death. We were in a hotel room with these guys we met, which was probably the first dumb move. I was in the bathroom, and you know what I'm hearing? He's getting his ass beat out there and he's trying to scream to me. He's telling me what's going on out there, he's telling me that I have to be brave, that we have to be brave. That no matter what happens we're together and we can make it through this as a team. You know what, I KNOW I'm going to get raped out there. All these five men are going to have their way with me and they are going to force him to watch and probably continue kicking his ass while they do it. So I looked in the mirror, and I told myself to be brave. And I walked out of that room. And everything was fine. I go over too him and hug him and we both know we gotta get out of there as soon as possible. He felt it too. Even when we are out, I'm thinking that they might be following us. They'll find us if they want it that bad. I'm tweaking out man. I'm not tripping, we didn't get dosed with anything. Just breathe okay honey? Okay. And that is how we chased those demons away that night. I grabbed onto that man's hand and looked him dead in the eye and we sang praises. Isn't that something? And wouldn't you know that it rained that night while we slept sheltered under the palmfauns. And guess what else? We woke up that morning smiling at an orange tree provided for breakfast! This is too beautiful. Are you my Mamma? ;)
This is January. I still have February March April and soon it'll be May.
I need a nap.