(no subject)
Read more. Write more. Run faster, sing quieter. Now the notes are blurring on the page, now I am keeled over at the edge of the Commons, feeling like I'm about to throw up.
Aunt Paula says that the only way that I am going to distinguish myself as a writer is by distinguishing myself.
My English teacher is a good English teacher, I will maintain that, and I will grow up faster than I should, if that's what she wants. I will be mature in my decisions when I speak to my friends or when I complain to my parents or when I argue with my little sister about my marks. I will hold myself still against my kitchen counter and listen to my aunts defend her criticisms and her lack of positive feedback because I know that she is right...I know that they are right. I cannot find it within myself to resent successful women who care about me deeply, simply because I am easily wounded by words or lack thereof.
And so, instead of running away, I sat, and listened, and nodded, and gave up my defence. I stood my ground, feet planted and took the wave as it came, and excused myself politely when the tides subsided.
I went up to my room, lay down on my bed, and cried for thirty seconds until hot tears had pooled at my temples.
Then I began to write.
Aunt Paula says that the only way that I am going to distinguish myself as a writer is by distinguishing myself.
My English teacher is a good English teacher, I will maintain that, and I will grow up faster than I should, if that's what she wants. I will be mature in my decisions when I speak to my friends or when I complain to my parents or when I argue with my little sister about my marks. I will hold myself still against my kitchen counter and listen to my aunts defend her criticisms and her lack of positive feedback because I know that she is right...I know that they are right. I cannot find it within myself to resent successful women who care about me deeply, simply because I am easily wounded by words or lack thereof.
And so, instead of running away, I sat, and listened, and nodded, and gave up my defence. I stood my ground, feet planted and took the wave as it came, and excused myself politely when the tides subsided.
I went up to my room, lay down on my bed, and cried for thirty seconds until hot tears had pooled at my temples.
Then I began to write.