it just so happens, wait.....FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
shit damn it became july without me actually realizing it.
i once again have 3, count them 3 jobs......anyone remember last year when i would bounce from 1 -4 during any given time???
i hated it, but it comes down to money. it always comes down to fucking money. well shit i say as long as im not a complete zombie it should be sorta ok.
so as a side note(even though it may be the point of this whole entry): i pretty much lost my core group of friends after graduation. im the last of the ho-op girls and the house has completely changed. im never home and im always tired. i miss all of my old housemates and all that crap. im finally also realizing how much i fucked a lot of things up and how shitty situations have affected me and most of them in an ungood way.
point one: if people arent in my direct vacinity then i have a problem with staying contact no matter how much i want to be around you or how much you want to be around me.....i seem to have no time for anything. so yes i am a shitty person. live and learn.
point two: i have been getting to a point where i am uncomfortable in most situations. i think it is just that i function in small groups and not in larger. its a mystery to me.
point three: i dont want my summer school to end, ever. i think that i am actually going to stick around for that program once i have graduated, even though i am sick as fuck of being in santa cruz.
point four: i am not creative right now....i need a creative surge or else i will be unhappy like before when i had a block for 2 years. that sucked. i dont want that again.
another side note: i will be looking for a house in august. my lease is up and the end of august and need a place. i am gonna be looking with a friend of mine so if you have an ideas for a 2 bedroom house let me know awesome. oh yeah, house should be kitten friendly because biggie smalls (my baby e-wok face kitten) will finally be able to live with me.
i once again have 3, count them 3 jobs......anyone remember last year when i would bounce from 1 -4 during any given time???
i hated it, but it comes down to money. it always comes down to fucking money. well shit i say as long as im not a complete zombie it should be sorta ok.
so as a side note(even though it may be the point of this whole entry): i pretty much lost my core group of friends after graduation. im the last of the ho-op girls and the house has completely changed. im never home and im always tired. i miss all of my old housemates and all that crap. im finally also realizing how much i fucked a lot of things up and how shitty situations have affected me and most of them in an ungood way.
point one: if people arent in my direct vacinity then i have a problem with staying contact no matter how much i want to be around you or how much you want to be around me.....i seem to have no time for anything. so yes i am a shitty person. live and learn.
point two: i have been getting to a point where i am uncomfortable in most situations. i think it is just that i function in small groups and not in larger. its a mystery to me.
point three: i dont want my summer school to end, ever. i think that i am actually going to stick around for that program once i have graduated, even though i am sick as fuck of being in santa cruz.
point four: i am not creative right now....i need a creative surge or else i will be unhappy like before when i had a block for 2 years. that sucked. i dont want that again.
another side note: i will be looking for a house in august. my lease is up and the end of august and need a place. i am gonna be looking with a friend of mine so if you have an ideas for a 2 bedroom house let me know awesome. oh yeah, house should be kitten friendly because biggie smalls (my baby e-wok face kitten) will finally be able to live with me.