(no subject)
Shew lord.. life sucks.
I know what I want, or rather, what I don’t want anymore. It’s good to know that now though. To know that I don’t have to have what I always thought I did. It really is nice. =))
..but my problem now is to get what I want. Getting part of it isn’t even the problem though… I’m almost positive that I can have part of it.. but I’m not sure that I want that part without the other part. I can’t do that. I really think it’ll fuck with my emotions and my thoughts, and just pretty much my sanity.
Why is it I always fall for the ones that fall for my friends?? That’s the main question I need to find an answer to.. and why can’t I just find somebody that I care about that cares about me to spend time with, as more than a friend? Why is that so complicated?
I need to figure things out, and I don’t even know where to start, and that’s the part that sucks. I told a friend that she could have someone. I mean, that I didn’t care if she dated him or whatever, and I meant it. I’m over it. Almost.
But I’m tryin to be over it, and that’s where it all starts. Right? Right. On top of that, I’m really really starting to fall for my friend.. and I know that’s bad. It’s always a bad thing for me… anyways, he’s not completely interested in me that way, I know that. I don’t know what to do about it though. You can’t just cut off all emotions about someone. Life would be so much easier if you could though… yeah, it really would.
I know what I want, or rather, what I don’t want anymore. It’s good to know that now though. To know that I don’t have to have what I always thought I did. It really is nice. =))
..but my problem now is to get what I want. Getting part of it isn’t even the problem though… I’m almost positive that I can have part of it.. but I’m not sure that I want that part without the other part. I can’t do that. I really think it’ll fuck with my emotions and my thoughts, and just pretty much my sanity.
Why is it I always fall for the ones that fall for my friends?? That’s the main question I need to find an answer to.. and why can’t I just find somebody that I care about that cares about me to spend time with, as more than a friend? Why is that so complicated?
I need to figure things out, and I don’t even know where to start, and that’s the part that sucks. I told a friend that she could have someone. I mean, that I didn’t care if she dated him or whatever, and I meant it. I’m over it. Almost.
But I’m tryin to be over it, and that’s where it all starts. Right? Right. On top of that, I’m really really starting to fall for my friend.. and I know that’s bad. It’s always a bad thing for me… anyways, he’s not completely interested in me that way, I know that. I don’t know what to do about it though. You can’t just cut off all emotions about someone. Life would be so much easier if you could though… yeah, it really would.