(no subject)
I feel like crap-o-la because i freaked out on Justin, on Thursday. Even though i went crazy i didn't even tell him why i felt the way i did. I feel bad because Keith hates it when people complain, and i complained to Keith first, on his birthday. I feel bad because Justin's my best friend, at least before everything he was, and i treated him like shit. I feel bad because i called Holly 2-faced when she's really not, she was just confused. I called Justin 2-faced too, which i don't take back because he sort of is. I just hate being shared, or having to share my friends. Thats how i was when Angela moved on to Nottingham and her and Irena became friends. No one has no idea what i'm talking about besides Irena, if she reads this. I didn't want to share Rose when her n Derek started a relationship, i almost stopped my friendship with her over stupid me being jealous that i was losing my bestfriend/sister and i didn't want to share Rose with Sandra in 5th grade (what he fuck was wrong with me) and that's how it was with Irena, and now i feel like i'm losing Justin. and it sucks.
I keep telling my self i'm not going to be sad. soo today when we were driving home form up north, i saw a sign that said "Kettering something" and i thought of Natalie telling Justin's friend Julia that she Kettered, because she goes to Waterford Kettering and how Julia has really nice teeth. and it made me laugh. I just like thinking of everything good that's happened, and all the crappiness goes away. People have told me it didn't work, bologna, it does work, maybe you haven't had alot of good times to think of. Jeeze, i think about the car ride to November 13th NOTHING EVEN SPEICAL HAPPENED besides me ragging on Rose's dad like i do everytime i see him, because i love that man, but just the excitment of going to my first show. Freakin January 1st, sucky show, but i hung out with great people, i met Jim Morrison, held Sondra AND Cali up when they crowd surfed, i met Cali, swearing around a church with Jusin and Jim Morrison. January 15th when I crowd surfed, stinkin greatest 7 seconds of my life. Aleah's birthday, MEETING ALEAH! Hanging out with Jessie, SANDRA'S BOOTS!! all these GREAT GREAT GREAT times make me think, i swear to god, if i say my life sucks, i'm an idiot. Yeah, soo me n Justin broke up, okay, we're still friends, i'll get over it. Soo him n Holly are starting something, it's past me now, i don't care, i'm moving on, and i don't care if some people aren't happy for me, because i am, Rose is, Jessica is, and Julia is, and that's all that matters. All these good times make me like want to cry, because i treat myself soo terribly over the stupidest things. Stuff that doesn't even like phase me i make a big deal out of it, well that's going to stop, i'm a hipocrit, i help other people and give them my advice, and i don't even take my own. I'm changing, again. and i'm quitting swearing.
i freakin love my friends
I keep telling my self i'm not going to be sad. soo today when we were driving home form up north, i saw a sign that said "Kettering something" and i thought of Natalie telling Justin's friend Julia that she Kettered, because she goes to Waterford Kettering and how Julia has really nice teeth. and it made me laugh. I just like thinking of everything good that's happened, and all the crappiness goes away. People have told me it didn't work, bologna, it does work, maybe you haven't had alot of good times to think of. Jeeze, i think about the car ride to November 13th NOTHING EVEN SPEICAL HAPPENED besides me ragging on Rose's dad like i do everytime i see him, because i love that man, but just the excitment of going to my first show. Freakin January 1st, sucky show, but i hung out with great people, i met Jim Morrison, held Sondra AND Cali up when they crowd surfed, i met Cali, swearing around a church with Jusin and Jim Morrison. January 15th when I crowd surfed, stinkin greatest 7 seconds of my life. Aleah's birthday, MEETING ALEAH! Hanging out with Jessie, SANDRA'S BOOTS!! all these GREAT GREAT GREAT times make me think, i swear to god, if i say my life sucks, i'm an idiot. Yeah, soo me n Justin broke up, okay, we're still friends, i'll get over it. Soo him n Holly are starting something, it's past me now, i don't care, i'm moving on, and i don't care if some people aren't happy for me, because i am, Rose is, Jessica is, and Julia is, and that's all that matters. All these good times make me like want to cry, because i treat myself soo terribly over the stupidest things. Stuff that doesn't even like phase me i make a big deal out of it, well that's going to stop, i'm a hipocrit, i help other people and give them my advice, and i don't even take my own. I'm changing, again. and i'm quitting swearing.
i freakin love my friends