(no subject)
So, I've not really been around. Sorry bout that everyone. Just been holed up the flat, reading and sleeping and painting and studying.
School's been wickedly busy since after Christmas. For some reason I don't really get, it seems the harder I work the shittier my marks get. It's like nothing is sticking, and worse than that - it's all shit I thought I knew. I've been getting some help in potions, and my DADA skills are still okay, but it's just like everything has gone to crap. Oh well, I'm sure it'll pick up again, no?
[Private]
So yeah, what MacNair said is still on my mind, but it doesn't mean that I actually believe any of it. So what? Tale's got her own problems, just like the rest of us. She's a good friend and a good person. Just because some blue-haired freak doesn't think so also doesn't mean that I'm automatically wrong, right?
I want to ask Blaise, but I'm worried that she can't be imparital, and I don't really blame her. I don't know.
Fuck.
[/private]
Tt's still cold as fuck, but the days are getting a little brighter and sunnier. I woke up in my bed this morning sweating for the first time because the sun was shining directly on my bed. the thing is, it wasn't there last night... but I can't seem to remember how my bed got re-arranged, but I have some kind of idea. ^_^ I went flying too for the first time in...well, actually, I don't remember how long it's been. I caught the snitch a couple of times and tested my starts and stops. I've been getting owls non-stop from recruiters still, even though I've not played since last year. I know I'm probably only getting recruited because of the media-frenzy that I seem to stir up at every turn (I'm free press, be it good or bad)..still, that can't be all bad, can it? I've tried fighting it for years now, this stupid boy-who-lived crap. I've hated every minute of it so far, but it's obviously never going to change, and if he doesn't kill me it will eventually get worse.
So why not take control of it? Why not use it? I can't decide. If I were to play professional quiddich, I could never know if they were picking me because I was good or because of my scar and the headlines that come with it. Which is worse, though? Not playing and missing out on an opportunity to do something I love for a career, or playing and not being sure that I deserve it?
I just don't know. I'm going to go to sleep.
< / out >
School's been wickedly busy since after Christmas. For some reason I don't really get, it seems the harder I work the shittier my marks get. It's like nothing is sticking, and worse than that - it's all shit I thought I knew. I've been getting some help in potions, and my DADA skills are still okay, but it's just like everything has gone to crap. Oh well, I'm sure it'll pick up again, no?
[Private]
So yeah, what MacNair said is still on my mind, but it doesn't mean that I actually believe any of it. So what? Tale's got her own problems, just like the rest of us. She's a good friend and a good person. Just because some blue-haired freak doesn't think so also doesn't mean that I'm automatically wrong, right?
I want to ask Blaise, but I'm worried that she can't be imparital, and I don't really blame her. I don't know.
Fuck.
[/private]
Tt's still cold as fuck, but the days are getting a little brighter and sunnier. I woke up in my bed this morning sweating for the first time because the sun was shining directly on my bed. the thing is, it wasn't there last night... but I can't seem to remember how my bed got re-arranged, but I have some kind of idea. ^_^ I went flying too for the first time in...well, actually, I don't remember how long it's been. I caught the snitch a couple of times and tested my starts and stops. I've been getting owls non-stop from recruiters still, even though I've not played since last year. I know I'm probably only getting recruited because of the media-frenzy that I seem to stir up at every turn (I'm free press, be it good or bad)..still, that can't be all bad, can it? I've tried fighting it for years now, this stupid boy-who-lived crap. I've hated every minute of it so far, but it's obviously never going to change, and if he doesn't kill me it will eventually get worse.
So why not take control of it? Why not use it? I can't decide. If I were to play professional quiddich, I could never know if they were picking me because I was good or because of my scar and the headlines that come with it. Which is worse, though? Not playing and missing out on an opportunity to do something I love for a career, or playing and not being sure that I deserve it?
I just don't know. I'm going to go to sleep.
< / out >