(no subject)
last night i dreamt that i was at disneyland with friends having a smiley laughy disneyland kind of time. when we reached the teacup ride i saw an elderly woman dressed how my grandma would: bright red pants, hush puppy shoes, hounds tooth homemade blouse. it was her except much younger than when she passed away a year and a half ago. i looked to her right and saw my uncle pat and cousin matthew walking towards her. matt's now 27, but in my dream he was a child and pat died in 2000. shortly behind them was my immediate family, 20 years ago. katie was a baby in my mom's arms. gina and i were dressing in day-glo colors and high tops. my dad's parents were there also. the entire group sat in front of my friends and i whistled to get their attention. when they turn, they all started smiling and yelling "eyyyy!!!" and clapping like they do. they recognized me, even though i was my future self. my dad's mom said they better get going; it's hard walking all day when you're in your 60s. my parents are now reaching 60 and my grandparents are either in their 80s or deceased.
lately i've had the most disturbing and painful nightmares. i woke up crying the other day after one of them. this dream was so wonderful. i've been looking through old family photos today. i forgot my big collection of them at home in southern california. i feel this strange emptiness without them.
lately i've had the most disturbing and painful nightmares. i woke up crying the other day after one of them. this dream was so wonderful. i've been looking through old family photos today. i forgot my big collection of them at home in southern california. i feel this strange emptiness without them.