(no subject)
SO IT'S THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS AND TO ME CHRISTMAS WASN'T ANYTHING SPECIAL THIS YEAR. THE MAIN THING I'M GRATEFUL FOR WAS THAT MY FAMILY WAS TOGETHER AND THINGS WENT GOOD. I FELT BAD BECAUSE I DIDN'T GIVE ANY PRESENTS NOR DID I GET ANY. I GUESS I WAS A NAUGHTY GURL THIS YEAR. BUT THE MAIN REASON WAS BECAUSE MONEY WAS TIGHT IN OUR FAMILY AND THE MONEY I WAS GOING TO USE TO BUY PRESENTS WITH I GAVE TO MY GRANDPARENTS SO THEY COULD PAY BILLS AND PUT GAS IN THEIR CAR. THEY'VE DONE SOO MUCH MORE FOR MY MUM AND I SO THAT'S THE LEAST I COULD'VE DONE FOR THEM. SO NEEDLESS TO SAY MY GIFTS WILL BE LATE THIS YEAR. BUT THE KIDS ARE STILL TOO YOUNG TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE SO IT'S FINE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT JAC WILL BE A YEAR OLD THIS SATURDAY (YES HE'S A NEW YEAR'S EVE BABY) JENNI IS HAVING A PARTY FOR HIM AT MY GRANDMA'S (GROANS) BAD CHOICE BUT IT'S HER KID :\ WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THE DRAMA IT'S GONNA CAUSE BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT MY GRAN IS NOT GONNA WANT US TO LEAVE AND IT'S NEW YEAR'S EVE SO WE WANNA HAVE SOME DRINKS AND BE HAPPY BUT BECAUSE MY GRANDPARENT'S ARE RELIGIOUS THEY'RE NOT DOWN WITH THAT. SO ANYWAY WE'LL SEE HOW THAT GOES.
THE MAIN REASON FOR MY TITLE IS BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT *HIM" ALOOOOOOOOT LATELY AND IT'S BECAUSE I KNOW HE'S IN TOWN AND HE HASN'T CALLED ME TO HANG OUT AND IT'S BOTHERING ME. IT MAKES ME WONDER IF MAYBE IT'S CUZ HE FOUND SOMEONE ELSE?? BUT MY PRIDE AND MY HEART WILL NOT ALLOW ME TO CALL HIM AND SEE WHAT HE'S UP TO. HE SAID THINGS WHOULD BE DIFFERENT BETWEEN US WHEN HE CAME BACK HOME BUT WHO'S TO SAY. I GUESS I'M THE SUCKER FOR WAITING. IS IT BAD THAT I DID THAT? I CAN'T DATE ANYONE BECAUSE IT ALL COMES BACK TO HIM I EITHER COMPARE THEM TO HIM OR I JUST PUSH POTENTIAL GUYS AWAY BECAUSE I WANT HIM SO MUCH. I SERIOUSLY DOUBT HE FEELS FOR ME IN THAT ASPECT BUT SECRETLY I'M WISHING HE DOES. HE TOLD ME SKOOL WAS HIS PRIORITY IN HIS LIFE RIGHT NOW AND I RESPECT HIM SO MUCH FOR THAT AND I KNOW HE'S GOING TO DO GREAT THINGS WITH HIS CHOICE IN VOCATION. I HAVE DREAMS OF MY FUTURE WITH HIM AND IT SCARES ME BECAUSE AT TIMES I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH HIM BUT HOW CAN YOU BE IN LOVE WITH A PERSON WHO HASN'T BEEN AROUND FOR AWHILE?? I HATE THIS BECAUSE IT'S TEARING ME UP INSIDE I EITHER WANNA END IT OR START SOMETHING AND NOTHING IS WORKING IN MOTION TO DO EITHER SO I'M STUCK... *sighs* MY FRIEND THAT I'M TALKING TO RIGHT NOW ON YAHOO MESS SAYS THAT I NEED A GUY FRIEND TO GET CLOSE TO SO THAT I CAN TALK TO HIM ABOUT THESE THINGS AND GET A "MALE PERSPECTIVE" BUT FOR SOME REASON THE BEST GUY FRIENDS I HAVE I THINK I MAKE STRONG FRIENDSHIPS WITH AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THEY'RE GONE LIKE WE LOSE CONTACT AND THAT SHIT BAFFLES AND HURTS ME. I DON'T TRUST EASILY SO I GUESS THAT'S WHY IT HURTS WHEN I LOSE THEM. ANYWAY I'M TIRED SO I'MMA GO I'LL BE BACK TO UPDATE I NEED TO GET BACK TO WRITING IN HERE SINCE NOT ALOT OF PPL READ THIS ANYMORE IS MORE COMFORTABLE FOR ME. SO I SHALL RETURN. TAKE CARE AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS FRIENDS AND STRANGERS WHO COME ACROSS THIS LITTLE 'OL JOURNAL. UNTIL NEXT TIME........*NESSA*
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT JAC WILL BE A YEAR OLD THIS SATURDAY (YES HE'S A NEW YEAR'S EVE BABY) JENNI IS HAVING A PARTY FOR HIM AT MY GRANDMA'S (GROANS) BAD CHOICE BUT IT'S HER KID :\ WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THE DRAMA IT'S GONNA CAUSE BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT MY GRAN IS NOT GONNA WANT US TO LEAVE AND IT'S NEW YEAR'S EVE SO WE WANNA HAVE SOME DRINKS AND BE HAPPY BUT BECAUSE MY GRANDPARENT'S ARE RELIGIOUS THEY'RE NOT DOWN WITH THAT. SO ANYWAY WE'LL SEE HOW THAT GOES.
THE MAIN REASON FOR MY TITLE IS BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT *HIM" ALOOOOOOOOT LATELY AND IT'S BECAUSE I KNOW HE'S IN TOWN AND HE HASN'T CALLED ME TO HANG OUT AND IT'S BOTHERING ME. IT MAKES ME WONDER IF MAYBE IT'S CUZ HE FOUND SOMEONE ELSE?? BUT MY PRIDE AND MY HEART WILL NOT ALLOW ME TO CALL HIM AND SEE WHAT HE'S UP TO. HE SAID THINGS WHOULD BE DIFFERENT BETWEEN US WHEN HE CAME BACK HOME BUT WHO'S TO SAY. I GUESS I'M THE SUCKER FOR WAITING. IS IT BAD THAT I DID THAT? I CAN'T DATE ANYONE BECAUSE IT ALL COMES BACK TO HIM I EITHER COMPARE THEM TO HIM OR I JUST PUSH POTENTIAL GUYS AWAY BECAUSE I WANT HIM SO MUCH. I SERIOUSLY DOUBT HE FEELS FOR ME IN THAT ASPECT BUT SECRETLY I'M WISHING HE DOES. HE TOLD ME SKOOL WAS HIS PRIORITY IN HIS LIFE RIGHT NOW AND I RESPECT HIM SO MUCH FOR THAT AND I KNOW HE'S GOING TO DO GREAT THINGS WITH HIS CHOICE IN VOCATION. I HAVE DREAMS OF MY FUTURE WITH HIM AND IT SCARES ME BECAUSE AT TIMES I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH HIM BUT HOW CAN YOU BE IN LOVE WITH A PERSON WHO HASN'T BEEN AROUND FOR AWHILE?? I HATE THIS BECAUSE IT'S TEARING ME UP INSIDE I EITHER WANNA END IT OR START SOMETHING AND NOTHING IS WORKING IN MOTION TO DO EITHER SO I'M STUCK... *sighs* MY FRIEND THAT I'M TALKING TO RIGHT NOW ON YAHOO MESS SAYS THAT I NEED A GUY FRIEND TO GET CLOSE TO SO THAT I CAN TALK TO HIM ABOUT THESE THINGS AND GET A "MALE PERSPECTIVE" BUT FOR SOME REASON THE BEST GUY FRIENDS I HAVE I THINK I MAKE STRONG FRIENDSHIPS WITH AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THEY'RE GONE LIKE WE LOSE CONTACT AND THAT SHIT BAFFLES AND HURTS ME. I DON'T TRUST EASILY SO I GUESS THAT'S WHY IT HURTS WHEN I LOSE THEM. ANYWAY I'M TIRED SO I'MMA GO I'LL BE BACK TO UPDATE I NEED TO GET BACK TO WRITING IN HERE SINCE NOT ALOT OF PPL READ THIS ANYMORE IS MORE COMFORTABLE FOR ME. SO I SHALL RETURN. TAKE CARE AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS FRIENDS AND STRANGERS WHO COME ACROSS THIS LITTLE 'OL JOURNAL. UNTIL NEXT TIME........*NESSA*