Beginning again, sadly enough
"If you want better things, then I want you to have them."
Of course I'm speaking to myself through Jenny every few seconds as, "Go ahead" goes through my pounding temples over and over again for hours on end.
So what does this mean? I haven't heard this song in forever and yet it's plaguing my mind with this "Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead."
No I don't want to buy a fancy automobile
or build a place up in cold water canyon
Yes I do want to "hold my own hand going up that cliff"
but to which verse is she referring? Am I referring?
Do I wanna' "hold on to the first girl that I meet?"
Yeah that seems to be the cycle
I've always wanted to have my cake and eat it too
but never really the exhibitionist, I don't need people to "watch me while I eat it."
Better things would be nice
and yeah I want myself to have them
But I already have a pretty sweet life. Today has been a shit day, and tomorrow is bound to be worse.
But I have a friggin' "blessed" life right now. Not enough people acknowledge that they do. And too many people have too much. Just the fact that I have what I have and I feel what I feel, love who I love and deal with what I deal with daily proves that I'm the person I wanna be right? and I have the life I want right?
But no,
one piece is missing
I'm not the person I wanna be
but I'm closer than I've been since I can remember
Maybe that's why I'm angry at myself? So close, but no cigar?
I don't know
as per usual I'm lost in the mire of my (well I would normally put the word, "aggression" here, but instead I'll put "complacency" because that fits.)
I'm not angry, just a little sad.
I'm not frustrated as much as I am concerned.
I'm not full of petty problems, but plagued by real ones.
and I don't feel very real right now...I feel like I'm floating. Floating face down in water too deep to see the bottom.
But that isn't to be taken in any way other than the way I intend it....and it isn't like that...it really isn't. Even through this day, I've not once thought of that again.
We'll avoid the words that accompany "that."
So to revert back to that kid who couldn't speak with her own voice, but only mimic others.
Why does it "feel like I've been run over in traffic, scratching in the dust as someone's leaving? Punches in my gut. Oh look, I'm bleeding. Not for you, for me this time.
Just saying it does it
Just smashing it crushes it
Just loving it douses it."
Am I starting over?
Fuck
Of course I'm speaking to myself through Jenny every few seconds as, "Go ahead" goes through my pounding temples over and over again for hours on end.
So what does this mean? I haven't heard this song in forever and yet it's plaguing my mind with this "Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead."
No I don't want to buy a fancy automobile
or build a place up in cold water canyon
Yes I do want to "hold my own hand going up that cliff"
but to which verse is she referring? Am I referring?
Do I wanna' "hold on to the first girl that I meet?"
Yeah that seems to be the cycle
I've always wanted to have my cake and eat it too
but never really the exhibitionist, I don't need people to "watch me while I eat it."
Better things would be nice
and yeah I want myself to have them
But I already have a pretty sweet life. Today has been a shit day, and tomorrow is bound to be worse.
But I have a friggin' "blessed" life right now. Not enough people acknowledge that they do. And too many people have too much. Just the fact that I have what I have and I feel what I feel, love who I love and deal with what I deal with daily proves that I'm the person I wanna be right? and I have the life I want right?
But no,
one piece is missing
I'm not the person I wanna be
but I'm closer than I've been since I can remember
Maybe that's why I'm angry at myself? So close, but no cigar?
I don't know
as per usual I'm lost in the mire of my (well I would normally put the word, "aggression" here, but instead I'll put "complacency" because that fits.)
I'm not angry, just a little sad.
I'm not frustrated as much as I am concerned.
I'm not full of petty problems, but plagued by real ones.
and I don't feel very real right now...I feel like I'm floating. Floating face down in water too deep to see the bottom.
But that isn't to be taken in any way other than the way I intend it....and it isn't like that...it really isn't. Even through this day, I've not once thought of that again.
We'll avoid the words that accompany "that."
So to revert back to that kid who couldn't speak with her own voice, but only mimic others.
Why does it "feel like I've been run over in traffic, scratching in the dust as someone's leaving? Punches in my gut. Oh look, I'm bleeding. Not for you, for me this time.
Just saying it does it
Just smashing it crushes it
Just loving it douses it."
Am I starting over?
Fuck