please don't make me cry

[_hearttoground_]

another bad day. i dont think i'll be able to leave the house. it sucks because i have classes today, but im literally on the verge of tears. all day ive had a knot in my throat. with my luck rob will play a minor scale and ill break down. (minors sad and major is happy. or at least thats how i tell the difference.) i do think the st. john's wort is working, but i still have my mean reds. only now i feel like they hit harder. i had a rough night. i kept thinking about that damn picture. i cant erase it from my memory. my san kelpa is supposed my help me be ok with this. i keep having dreams where life works out for me and jealous sisters love me. then i wake up and see its someone else whose life is working out and the jealous sisters love them. its supposed to be me. what does this person have that i don't? location location location. and "friends" to name-drop.
supposed to leave for class in 15 minutes. i may not make it home. suddenly, i'm lost on my street, on my block. oh why?

hey hey you,
i'm surrounded by pale people.
hey hey you,
think i'm fading too