i want my life to be like Yours.
what a beautiful day when you have nothing to do but what you want to get done...
seriously.
i went to my ONE class thie morning, and since then, i've been just hanging around being able to relax for the first time in life.
it's quite enjoyable.
i'm still in my addicted to harry potter mode, about 1/8 through harry potter book 4. it's a loooong book. lemme tell you. and just in case you DIDN'T know, i swore i would never ever read harry potter, but realized i would have to for lit class so last wednesday night i started the first book and havent been able to get myself to stop since. luckily i've had the time for it. i'm hoping to finish this book by tomorrow or wednesday maybe. depends on how much time i have... there's still about 600 pages to go. crazy, no?
i also got to play guitar today which i hadnt done in quite awhile due to being too busy to be able to do anything remotely enjoyable. but i was inspired when i was listening to music on my computer while cleaning my room and i heard the song 'ocean' by ten shekel shirt, which i think is one of the most beautiful songs i've ever heard. it also happens to be one of the very first songs i ever played on my guitar, so it inspired me to play for a bit. my fingers are hurting, but it's a happy sort of pain. :-)
i ALSO got to spend some much needed time with Jesus today. i read the short, but very interesting, book of Philemon. my favorite part is the beginning, verses 4-7:
I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, because I hear about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints. I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ. Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints.
that just inspires me. not even one particular part of it. just that passage entirely. it just reminds me that i'm not fighting this battle against satan alone. i've got my brothers and sisters there with me, all around the world.
wonderful.
and, as an added bonus, here's the lyrics to 'ocean'. hope it makes you smile as much as it makes me smile. i'll even sing it to you if you'd like. :-)
lately i've been thinking about you
lately i've been dreaming about you
lately i cant get you out of my head...
something about the ocean makes me rise up and praise.
something about heavens makes me stand in awe again.
something about the sunrise reminds me of your faithfulness.
something about the ocean and i'm lost in love again.
i'll sing until i sense a smile upon your great and lovely face...
until i know your glory's in this place.
it just makes me want to run to the middle of nowhere, a giant field somewhere, an ocean shoreline, middle of a lake, edge of a forest... somewhere... anywhere... just me and God...
i hate being trapped inside in the winter. i love snow, but it's not the same as being able to run barefoot through the grass at dusk... that smell the air gets in the summer... i miss it so much. *sigh* it's only december. maybe if i had some snow to enjoy i could be a little more optimistic about the prospects enjoying the outdoors this winter... i guess i still have some things to look forward to... it's breathtaking to be in the middle of a field at night as the snow is falling... the sound... it's like nothing else. just soft...
... someday... someday i'll be able to be a grown up... and live in my own house... away from the city... i wont have to drive all the way down to dad's to get to experience the beauty of the outdoors away from the rush of the city... i want to breathe air smelling of fresh cut grass, not vehicle exaust... in the winter, i want the snow to stay white and pure, not polluted by the slush that cars produce or pushed into piles by plowtrucks or ripped of it's splendor by throwing salt on it... i want a pond to ice skate on... and i'm the worst ice skater in the world... so it has to have a little bench where i can sit and laugh when i've fallen down too many times to stay on my feet for much longer... and i can drink hot cocoa... just he and i... who 'he' is, i dont yet know... and it seems more and more lately that i may never know.
God's time. not mine.
if i can await the first signs of spring each year after the cold of each winter... i can wait to see the guy that God's got picked out for me... even if he never comes, the spring still will.