Quiet my soul
I'm not quite sure how to express this but I'm giving it a shot.
It was the sum of everything that has been stirring in this scatterbrain of mine for the last couple of months.
It is the sum of faith, trust, and love.
I don't pray a lot.
And when I do, I'm not even sure if I should be praying for those things.
The one thing I have asked for is faith.
It didn't even feel like I was the one speaking to my friend last night.
That I was the one describing how good it feels to realise that I'm willing to let go and let God.
Me. I was probably in line for the Top 20 Skeptics in Metro West.
Me. Ms-you-just-need-a-bit-of-logic-to-make-sense-out-of-things.
Logic and I weren't best friends these last couple of months (except for things that truly revolved around logic, like school stuff) In fact, I've felt like I've been cruising through life lately...but what else can you do when everything that is happening doesn't seem to make sense.
"The experience of conflict is the price one pays for the freedom to choose."
(c/o my Psychology textbook)
I used to imagine every situation. Predict every single reaction. Plan every word to say.
I seemed to thrive on conflict and I was indecisive. When I finally had a decision, it always seemed to be the worst one on the list. Now I can see why my brain was in knots all the time.
It feels liberating.
To want to love without expecting anything in return.
To receive love that you just want to give to everyone else around you.
Including the boys. Realising that it's not infatuation but truly a sense of caring you feel...
it's (for a lack of a better word) a relief.
Love doesn't have to be Valentine's day love.
In fact, Valentine's day should be celebrated all with all kinds of love. With your family, with your friends, with your co-workers.
People become so afraid to love because in our world today, we've become scared of commitment. We only feel the need to look out for ourselves. Where's the fun in that?
Here I am, at the end of the day, and I can't seem to finish what I started...at least not right now.
We reap what we sow. Faith and love are only as powerful as we allow them to be. It's only as real as we let it become.
It was the sum of everything that has been stirring in this scatterbrain of mine for the last couple of months.
It is the sum of faith, trust, and love.
I don't pray a lot.
And when I do, I'm not even sure if I should be praying for those things.
The one thing I have asked for is faith.
It didn't even feel like I was the one speaking to my friend last night.
That I was the one describing how good it feels to realise that I'm willing to let go and let God.
Me. I was probably in line for the Top 20 Skeptics in Metro West.
Me. Ms-you-just-need-a-bit-of-logic-to-make-sense-out-of-things.
Logic and I weren't best friends these last couple of months (except for things that truly revolved around logic, like school stuff) In fact, I've felt like I've been cruising through life lately...but what else can you do when everything that is happening doesn't seem to make sense.
"The experience of conflict is the price one pays for the freedom to choose."
(c/o my Psychology textbook)
I used to imagine every situation. Predict every single reaction. Plan every word to say.
I seemed to thrive on conflict and I was indecisive. When I finally had a decision, it always seemed to be the worst one on the list. Now I can see why my brain was in knots all the time.
It feels liberating.
To want to love without expecting anything in return.
To receive love that you just want to give to everyone else around you.
Including the boys. Realising that it's not infatuation but truly a sense of caring you feel...
it's (for a lack of a better word) a relief.
Love doesn't have to be Valentine's day love.
In fact, Valentine's day should be celebrated all with all kinds of love. With your family, with your friends, with your co-workers.
People become so afraid to love because in our world today, we've become scared of commitment. We only feel the need to look out for ourselves. Where's the fun in that?
Here I am, at the end of the day, and I can't seem to finish what I started...at least not right now.
We reap what we sow. Faith and love are only as powerful as we allow them to be. It's only as real as we let it become.