so heres the thing.
rory and i wont be leaving for boston this year.
my student loan payments have started, and calculating what i owe in bills each month, plus the overwhelming cost of living in boston, its just not a practical decision right now. rory and i had each been sweating it out in silence, afraid to tell the other that we might not be able to afford it right now, only to discover we were both freaking out about the same thing. im actually more relieved than disappointed. i had wanted to go so badly, and i still do, but all of that had become totally outweighed by the stress of knowing i would probably only put myself further in debt. i had wanted to go to give myself options, but i ended up only feeling more trapped by these plans i felt i couldnt get out of. if i get into grad school there, ill go next year. no big deal.
i still need to quit the crap job i have now though, because besides hating it, right now im not really even making enough to cover my bills. time for a real job, with decent pay and some benefits. now where do i find something like that?
im hopeful for one thing in the immediate future. my monetary situation still doesnt change the fact that i desperately need to get out of my parents house. unfortunately, because of my stubborn insistence upon leaving for boston this fall in the beginning of the summer, seth signed a year lease in a 3 bedroom with two other guys he doesnt know. im kicking myself about that now, but if he can get someone to sublet his room, he and i will get a place together. im really really hoping we can make that work, both because i need to have my own place again, and because i can think of little that would make me happier than coming home to him every night.
job and grad school searches are in full swing now, though i hardly feel like im making any headway. then come the delightful applications and GREs, neither of which im looking forward to, but thats the way of it.
its time to get my shit together.
my student loan payments have started, and calculating what i owe in bills each month, plus the overwhelming cost of living in boston, its just not a practical decision right now. rory and i had each been sweating it out in silence, afraid to tell the other that we might not be able to afford it right now, only to discover we were both freaking out about the same thing. im actually more relieved than disappointed. i had wanted to go so badly, and i still do, but all of that had become totally outweighed by the stress of knowing i would probably only put myself further in debt. i had wanted to go to give myself options, but i ended up only feeling more trapped by these plans i felt i couldnt get out of. if i get into grad school there, ill go next year. no big deal.
i still need to quit the crap job i have now though, because besides hating it, right now im not really even making enough to cover my bills. time for a real job, with decent pay and some benefits. now where do i find something like that?
im hopeful for one thing in the immediate future. my monetary situation still doesnt change the fact that i desperately need to get out of my parents house. unfortunately, because of my stubborn insistence upon leaving for boston this fall in the beginning of the summer, seth signed a year lease in a 3 bedroom with two other guys he doesnt know. im kicking myself about that now, but if he can get someone to sublet his room, he and i will get a place together. im really really hoping we can make that work, both because i need to have my own place again, and because i can think of little that would make me happier than coming home to him every night.
job and grad school searches are in full swing now, though i hardly feel like im making any headway. then come the delightful applications and GREs, neither of which im looking forward to, but thats the way of it.
its time to get my shit together.