Fuck.
I just realized that I fucked one of my closest friends. And not just a casual fuck; a jeans at the ankles, spit fuckin, laundry room at an apartment complex on Broadway (and then a park at an elementary school), tile floor, spur of the moment, long, hard, passionate fuckin. And I actually liked it! Even without the boxed wine and copious amounts of cheap liquor that I bought at Safeway, I thoroughly enjoyed his lip ring and big black lips and curved, thick, dick. And shit, I want to do it again!
*edit* - No I don't.
But now, I'm confronted with a bevy of awkward situations. Right of the bat it was like "Hi, well I should probably go. I don't know if i should kiss you or give you a handshake like we normally do, so I'm just gonna walk away without doing either." And what's more, I just had sex with someone who's currently in a 3 year relationship with probably the nicest, most genuine (albeit unintelligent) person in the world. And I'm gonna fucking get away with it! In my defense (imjusttalkingoutmyass) I was clearly taken advantage of. He was nowhere near as intoxicated as I was. But I doubt that's an argument because I clearly let him.
So now it's 3:40 in the motha fuckin morning, and I'm still drunk as shit off of Boone's farm and $12 dollar Tequila. I think it's officially official. I'm a fucked up person. I've known for quite some time, but this is just the stamp of approval. Certified Homewrecka. 100% Triflin'. Homegrown Nigga with no goddamn preservatives. I don't know what lead me down this road, and I don't know why I'm venting on my livejournal (that's read by people who don't even give a fuck about what I'm doing with my life), but shit is heavy right now.
What's even more frustrating is that when I was in San Francisco this past week and was with someone I really wanted to have sex with, but I opted out of it. I said "No" because I didn't want to dilute or lessen a "deep spiritual and mental connection." The hell is wrong with me? Why couldn't I have that Goddamn self-control tonight!? I was definitely drunk in San Francisco 3 times... possibly 7, and this situation I put myself in tonight has the potential for much deeper consequences. And Mister Friend Tonight is nowhere near as attractive as Mister San Francisco.
So why did I do it?
Fuck you and ya mama. I need a goddamn drink
*edit* - No I don't.
But now, I'm confronted with a bevy of awkward situations. Right of the bat it was like "Hi, well I should probably go. I don't know if i should kiss you or give you a handshake like we normally do, so I'm just gonna walk away without doing either." And what's more, I just had sex with someone who's currently in a 3 year relationship with probably the nicest, most genuine (albeit unintelligent) person in the world. And I'm gonna fucking get away with it! In my defense (imjusttalkingoutmyass) I was clearly taken advantage of. He was nowhere near as intoxicated as I was. But I doubt that's an argument because I clearly let him.
So now it's 3:40 in the motha fuckin morning, and I'm still drunk as shit off of Boone's farm and $12 dollar Tequila. I think it's officially official. I'm a fucked up person. I've known for quite some time, but this is just the stamp of approval. Certified Homewrecka. 100% Triflin'. Homegrown Nigga with no goddamn preservatives. I don't know what lead me down this road, and I don't know why I'm venting on my livejournal (that's read by people who don't even give a fuck about what I'm doing with my life), but shit is heavy right now.
What's even more frustrating is that when I was in San Francisco this past week and was with someone I really wanted to have sex with, but I opted out of it. I said "No" because I didn't want to dilute or lessen a "deep spiritual and mental connection." The hell is wrong with me? Why couldn't I have that Goddamn self-control tonight!? I was definitely drunk in San Francisco 3 times... possibly 7, and this situation I put myself in tonight has the potential for much deeper consequences. And Mister Friend Tonight is nowhere near as attractive as Mister San Francisco.
So why did I do it?
Fuck you and ya mama. I need a goddamn drink