I wish wishing got you somewhere.

[_halfempty]

today started off well. I was starting to think that everything was going to change for the better.

I read her letter and cried. not because It was a sad letter, but because of everything we have ammounted too.
and everything I have done without realising it. all the mistakes I have made.
but I realised that it could be different. and I stopped. after spring break everthing will be fine. of course it wont be back to normal but as long as I could talk to her a part of me would be fixed.

I smiled. not only because of that but so many things. so many things had almost been fixed.

but you always do this to us.

I hate it when you tell me that I'm an idiot and that I cant do anything right and that "you'll break our head's" if we break some material possesion of yours. I hate it. I'd rather you beat me untill I was raw than to verbally attack me.

And I hate telling you that I hate you because I dont.
I hate the things you do to us and the way you make me feel.

I wish I was stronger. I wish I didnt care what came out of your mouth.
I wish I could make you happier and prouder.

but wishing dosent get you anywhere.

I'm crying for no reason.

I will be a stronger person.

after spring break I'l be a stronger, more positive person. I promise you.