(no subject)
what a waste of a fucking day.
satan overcame my mother yet once again.
i cleaned the bathroom probably 5 times today.
only because each time i had cleaned it it hadnt been clean enough to "her standards"
her standards are nothing is perfect unless she does it.
therefore, when i do it, it will never be to her liking.
yet she never lifts a muscle to do anything herself.
just give orders, that's what she's good at.
now she's fighting with her husband. over money.
she lives on cleaning and getting money.
that's all that matters.
day's like this I could have called her and we could have gone for a walk and I'd get away and be with someone I liked.
but things change, usually for the worse.
I tried so many people, but they all had the same excuse.
so I just went to the dover grille with my sister and jorge. even though I'm sure they didnt want me there.
and it was cold and dark. we know how dover is at night.
I'm getting sick again.
I really wished someone had come to see me today.
I know I tell everyone I hate it when they come.
but today I was just hoping someone would show up at the door.
and take me away from everything.
make me forget about everything.
I had forgotten.
but then the smallest thing will provoke me to remember.
that I'm lonely, and stupid, and vain, and ugly.
and dont tell me you dont like speaking to me that way mother.
because i know you do.
I just sit here and do nothing but so do you.
comment?
satan overcame my mother yet once again.
i cleaned the bathroom probably 5 times today.
only because each time i had cleaned it it hadnt been clean enough to "her standards"
her standards are nothing is perfect unless she does it.
therefore, when i do it, it will never be to her liking.
yet she never lifts a muscle to do anything herself.
just give orders, that's what she's good at.
now she's fighting with her husband. over money.
she lives on cleaning and getting money.
that's all that matters.
day's like this I could have called her and we could have gone for a walk and I'd get away and be with someone I liked.
but things change, usually for the worse.
I tried so many people, but they all had the same excuse.
so I just went to the dover grille with my sister and jorge. even though I'm sure they didnt want me there.
and it was cold and dark. we know how dover is at night.
I'm getting sick again.
I really wished someone had come to see me today.
I know I tell everyone I hate it when they come.
but today I was just hoping someone would show up at the door.
and take me away from everything.
make me forget about everything.
I had forgotten.
but then the smallest thing will provoke me to remember.
that I'm lonely, and stupid, and vain, and ugly.
and dont tell me you dont like speaking to me that way mother.
because i know you do.
I just sit here and do nothing but so do you.
comment?