Typed up for
okuribi~
This is Mao's interview from Cure Vol.51, which was already translated in English in the magazine. This is a really good read, for anyone who is interested in Sadie. I've decided to leave this post public for now, but I hope I don't have to regret doing so. Even if it is not my translations, this took a really long time to type up, so please credit me for my angonizing long hours spent on this. If there are any corrections needed or spelling errors, please let me know. よろしくー
CURE Vol.51 Dec. 2007
真緒(サディ)
Mao (Sadie)
As Sadie’s vocalist, Mao’s performance is imbued with the sadness and pain expressed in his lyrics. What is the source of these emotions? To find out we asked Mao about his childhood and little by little his true nature came out from hiding.
-As a child, what kind of boy were you?
“I was quite a mischief maker, and I liked plotting ways to surprise the other kids. Children are full of curiosity, aren’t they? When suddenly something captured my interest, I was the type to investigate this and that.”
-Being such a mischief maker, I imagine you enjoyed playing outside.
“When I was small I played outside quite often. The area where I lived had a lot of greenery and was near a mountain so I always played there, setting up a home base and going out exploring. I often went bug catching.”
- For various kinds of beetles?
“I went out looking for beetles but those kinds of bugs are not so easy to catch, so I would often catch grasshoppers and praying mantises. Looking back now I feel I was cruel to them I would make the praying mantis and grasshopper fight each other and watch intently as the praying mantis won and ate the grasshopper.”
- You really were brimming with curiosity, weren’t you?
“Definitely. But in the second half of elementary school it was the age of video games and my friends and I would all get together and play. Once I entered middle school though I stopped playing games and found interest in other things.”
- As an elementary school student did you listen to music?
“In elementary school I didn’t show any interest at all. At the time karaoke was a big boom and I would go sometimes but I never got too caught up in it. I would go occasionally with my friends and sing hit songs by the popular artists, but that’s about it.
- When did you start to have a serious interest in music?
“When I was in middle school. My cousin two years older than me played the guitar and when I saw him I thought it was so cool. That was one thing that got interested.”
- Before we talk more about that, I want to ask you one thing about your elementary school years. Pardon my directness, but when was your first love?
“The first time I liked someone was during my first and second year in elementary school. She was the older sister of a pair of twins.”
- But they looked exactly alike?
“Since they were twins their faces were identical. The older sister was very sweet, while the younger sister had a more aggressive personality. They were both in my class and I started to like the older sister…”
- But it never developed into something more?
“At that age there’s lots of talk about” so and so likes so and so.” The boys in my class talked in this way too. And the girls talked about it amongst themselves. Then one might agree that she likes the other back… So there was no actual dating involved but just hearing that she liked me made me happy (laughs).”
- You experienced real love for the first time in middle school?
“That’s right. This is related the story I mentioned earlier about seeing my cousin and then beginning to play guitar. There was a girl at that time I was interested in and I asked her out three times (laughs). By the third time I felt defeated. Disappointed, I started to think, “I’ll get even with her.” But how? At first I thought about doing sports so I entered the volleyball club, but I didn’t have that much interest in it. In my first year in middle school I was around guys who were serious about sports and I started to feel I’m just pretending and can’t get as good them so I started to look for something else. There was no one in my school involved with bands though. With bands and music on my mind I pestered my parents until they bought me the hide model guitar, as I really loved hide from X- JAPAN at the time.”
- Did you join a band straight away?
“No one in my school was in a band and on top of that, most of my friends were sports types, so we didn’t talk at all about music. I had to listen to music alone and while I was in middle school I put a lot of effort into practicing guitar at home each day, though I had no chance to join a band. From then on I began to dream about joining a band once I entered high school and at our concert I would call that girl and get back at her.”
- So you used to play volley ball?
“I played because joining a club was compulsory at my middle school, though I didn’t try very hard. In fact the volley ball club at my school had a reputation for attracting a bunch of trouble makers so my friends and I fooled around a lot.”
- Well were you a trouble maker too?
“Only in appearance. I didn’t even skip club meetings, I went to practice everyday. I was listening to visual kei music at that time too and maybe because of that influence I thought of the typical image of a trouble maker with a “regent” hairstyle as completely uncool, while I chose to dress in band-guy or visual-kei style.”
- Did this style make you become popular in school?
“The time I began dating was in middle school, so maybe.”
- Do you remember your first date?
“At the time I was incredibly shy, and if anyone found out you were dating they would all laugh about it. So the extent of my dating was walking a girl home from school. On holidays I would always hang out with my friends rather than go on dates.”
- What made you become interested in visual kei?
“X-JAPAN first spurred my interest. The first time I saw them on TV I thought, “They look like characters from SEIKIMA II,” without even paying attention to the music. But I hated visual kei. After that when I would occasionally hear X JAPAN’s music I thought it was cool and all of a sudden they had changed my point of view. Then I began listening to bands like X JAPAN and LUNA SEA. Once I got my guitar, I though band scores and played while listening to the CDs.”
- Were X JAPAN and LUNA SEA’s songs very difficult to play?
“The difficult parts were especially difficult. For example, the riff in X JAPAN’s “WEEKEND” is easy. I would play it very fast and then spend a lot of time on the other parts so that in the end I was able to play it smoothly, which felt so rewarding. In middle school and high school, whenever I had a spare moment I would play guitar.”
- Once you entered high school were you about to form a band as you had hoped?
“I joined the light music club and started a band. Another guy who entered at the same time could play guitar very well. We both joined the band. No matter how much I practiced I couldn’t get as good as him and he would play the difficult, flashy parts while I would play the easier parts.”
- At that time were you still thinking about getting back at the girl who rejected you?!
“ We ended up going to different schools and I had completely forgotten about my grudge (laughs).”
- What made you decide to give up guitar and become a vocalist?
“One day I watched the performance of a band that was active at that time on video. Then I encountered a big problem. I realized “I don’t really look like a guitarist.” It’s an image I formed on my own but I thought a guitarist should be tall with big, long hair. But I’m short, and aesthetically I’m not suited to that image. On top of that, no matter how much I practiced I couldn’t reach the level of the other guitarist. In the music club, everyone was set on playing instruments and several guys would take turns singing. Since anyone was free to take a turn singing, I decided to switch positions. That was during my second year in high school.”
- I bet being in a band made you popular with girls.
“I experienced the pleasure of being fussed over in front of other people. But that’s different from love and the girls I wound up dating were different from the ones who made a fuss over me. The girls I dated were all older than me!”
- So you were told you’re so cute and such?!
“Yes, I was always treated as something so cute. It was fun to be treated this way by people older than me and being able to attract older girls was fun too.”
- After that did you enter university?
“Probably because I like visual-kei, at first I wanted to become a hair stylist. My school, however, was on the university entrance track. Also, my parents and relatives are all elite. As a third year student when I went for career guidance in September and told my parents that I want to become a hair stylist, straight away a family conference was called and they explained to me, “Vocational school is only two years and you have a lot to study in that length of time. But at university you have more free time and you’ll have the time to pursue band activities.” I thought “Oh, I see,” and their talk managed to persuade me. Until that time I had only been considering work or a vocational school so I hadn’t done any preparation for entrance exams…”
- Studying for entrance examinations is so taxing.
“Every day I studied really hard. At that time only my grades in English were outstanding and the rest were just average so I decided to sit for exams for English and Japanese and searched for schools that allow entrance with just those two and I was able to enter university safely.”
- In university did you pursue music as well?
“I joined the light music club in university and I had fun with that, but there was really no excitement in my life. Trying to start afresh and search for the thing I really wanted to do. I told my parents, “I’m going to study overseas.” They agreed, saying it would be a good experience for me and I went to study in England. But I didn’t exactly go to school, because I thought I could learn more by getting to know local people than by sitting at a desk, so I went out exploring every night. With the sense of freedom that came from living abroad I began to feel that I want to live in a more relaxed way. Of course I encountered a lot of music in England too. I realized that the thing I had pursued with the most passion was, after all, music, and being in a band. If I had to risk my life on something, it could only be music. As soon as I got back to Japan I told my parents that I would quit university and pursue music while working to support myself. My parents accepted my decision without objection.”
- That’s pretty amazing.
“Everyone around me knew that once I had decided, no amount of persuading could get me to change my mind. Then I moved to Osaka, and while living alone started to pursue music.”
- Visual-kei?
“I guess it was soft visual-kei. While I was in university, another member of my music circle was releasing CDs on a visual-kei label and appearing in magazines. I admired the other members of my band at that time and when this friend told me that soft visual-kei is popular now I followed his advice. He also taught me how to do things in the indies visual scene. When I returned to Japan I met up with the members of my band again. I talked a lot with my friend and when I said I wanted to start a new band he said he would join me and quit school too. But once he quit school we lost contact with each other. By following the example of those around me I continued with lives, but I still couldn’t get involved in the visual-kei scene or get the chance to perform with other ands. Then I heard that a lot of VK bands play at Nishi-Kujou BRAND NEW in Osaka. I didn’t even know how to make a demo tape but I thought if we recorded out music we could perform there. We recorded out music at a rehearsal and wrote everything out by hand and brought it to the live house and asked, “Please let us perform.” We were told no and then managed to get an introduction to other small live houses where we played for about a year. In that time I was able to make friends in other bands and learn about how bands are managed.”
- Around that time did you approach Nishi-Kujou BRAND NEW once again?
“By then we had learned how to make a demo tape, so we recorded our songs properly, printed out a card with lyrics on the computer, and made a jacket. Then we were finally able to play at Nishi-Kujou BRAND NEW.”
- After that how did Sadie come about?
“Eventually my band at that time was able to perform at big visual-kei events, but we split up for various reasons. As that band was reaching the end I started to think to myself that if I want to continue in the visual-kei scene I’ve still got a lot to learn, so I started to study in my own way. Then I began to search for members for a new band and think about what kind of band it should be. It took almost a year until the new band could get underway, but along the way I continued to study up on the VK scene.”
- So at the time there were still things you didn’t know about the visual scene?
“Rather than not knowing per say, I was listening to BLANKET JEY CITY type music then and aspired to form this kind of band, but actually I hated it. But although I had one foot in the VK scene, I wanted to learn more so I watch other bands’ lives and I went out hunting for CDs by the bands I was hearing a lot about. I found a few bands that I thought were really cool that way. I realized then that a band must be about more than just the way they look. At the same time the members for my new band had already come together and had begun to practice.”
- At last things got underway.
“When we were finally ready to begin activities, all of a sudden things came to a halt. I took the recording we had made during rehearsal with me and went into a studio to sing and prepare myself. That went on for about two weeks and I found myself in a situation that was completely unexpected…. After awhile, there was no hope for that band to continue and everyday I felt desperate. One day while I was out walking around feeling troubled I happened to meet the man who would become FACE MUSIC’s president. He said to me, “What are you doing? If you start a band now you’ll be able to crawl out from this abyss. If you want to do that I can help you.” After studying the scene for a year and hearing talk from a lot of people I finally wanted to get somewhere, so I decided to ask him for help. I felt reinvigorated and as I started to look for band members I heard that Aki had left his band so I contacted him and that’s how Sadie got its start.”
- Did you run into trouble after that?
“No, not in the beginning... At first Sadie was a typical visual band but in truth I wasn’t able to express myself as I wanted or make the music I had hoped to. Then after listening to our sample, I got the chance to attend the live of a band I really admired. I contacted the vocalist by letter and wrote, “I hope you will teach me about what kind of thoughts and what intentions you have as you sing.. I am trying to search for these things in myself but cannot find them..” He replied to me and I was able to meet him. He taught me so much about how to be a vocalist.”
- That was a turning point for you?
“Yes. I was hugely influenced by that band’s methods and in turn, started singing at a lower pitch. Just that alone wasn’t enough to help me express myself fully, however. Upon meeting that vocalist, I learned that I must pour out my feelings from within when I sing. From that time I began to understand what “Mao” the vocalist ought to convey and I started to be able to express my feelings and how I felt out music should be. Soon enough the circumstances surrounding the band began to change….”
- The name of the band is connected to how you feel as well, isn’t it?
“SAD =grief and sadness. It is the sadness I felt in that year before Sadie formed and the pain I experienced as I tried to climb out from those depths. I am able to express those feelings through words and by singing thanks to the vocalist I greatly respect and what he taught me, which formed the foundation for what I do now. To look at it another way, if I hadn’t experienced that difficult year, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I don’t have any hard feelings about the meetings and partings of that time, on the contrary, I only want to express my thanks and gratitude.”
- You sing of pain and sadness… now we have heard where these feelings come from.
“Since I’ve found the source of those feelings I’ve been determined to express that pain and sadness in a direct way. Letting loose those feelings reflects something at my core, and everything in my experience comes together as one.”