(no subject)

[_gwgnt]

idk what to do... today i saw the hampster cage for the first time since he has been dead... i cried, and then cried some more... im so scared that im guna be cleaning the house and im guna find his little body somewhere, starting to rot... i cant get the image out of my head and its sick and its been making me throw up and cry over and over again... i cleaned out his cage.. and im guna throw away all his little toys that i bought just for him... because if i get another hampster i dont want it using his... im sitting here balling my eyes out im such a fucking loser... my head hurts so bad... im so depressed...

maybe i wouldnt be taking this so bad, but i got all this other shit piling up on top of that... everything is going so wrong right now.. idk what to do... god help me =(