(no subject)
i've been sick lately... i keep losing my voice and just overall feeling shitty. having a single this year is bad for me. it gives me too much time to sit and think about shit. maybe i dont want to do what i thought i wanted to do. maybe this isnt the right place for me. maybe i am pushing away people i care about because i am too afraid of getting hurt in the long run. someone recently has knocked me off my feet. as much as id love to cast him aside and say i dont have feelings for him... that's a lie. he's nothing like the kind of boy that usually catches my eye... maybe that's a good thing? b/c looking at my track record with boys... well... its been pretty sucky. however, i find myself trying to like other people just to keep my mind off of the fact that this one might be good. ugh... yea.. too much time to sit and think. i realized the girls i was so close with last year-we all are in different places now. most of them dont even go here anymore. that's the thing about college... it's always changing. i'm so close to the boys... but is it bad that i find i have no girls to confide in and get advice from? my boys are my life. but am i just asking for trouble there? my floor is amazing. being an r.a. sucks, but at the same time im meeting a lot of awesome people... and i think im going to learn a lot from this experience. yea... that's it. felt the need to over analyze. haha.